Overheard in Dublin

A youngster on the Luas describing a gentleman he had met earlier that day: "He had a Hitler moustache. It made him look like a Jew."

Air Hostess on Ryanair flight from Dublin to Stansted: "If at any time during our flight you are unhappy with the service, we have 6 exits..."

Overheard at a meeting in work today: "I've had so much coffee my arse has a heartbeat."

Overheard in Lidl in Greystones.

Boy: "Mum is that a cucumber?"
Mum: "No, it's a courgette luv"

It was an aubergine

Mother to me and my sister: "I swear these days the Protestants are more Catholics than the Catholics themselves!"

Overheard in office canteen as torrential rain belts against the window: "wow, that's proper wet rain isn't it!"

Sitting in Bewleys on Grafton st I overheard a woman say, quite loudly, "I wish the rain could be my friend!"

On the no 123 bus today looking out the window at the torrential rain when the auld fella sitting next to me says: "It's wetter than a squid's lunchbox"

That's one way of putting it

On the 126, listening to the driver argue with a foreign girl. She'd (accidentally) tried to use an out of date return ticket.

Driver: "You bought this on the sixth. Today's the seventeenth. That's three weeks."

The man who sells you your bus tickets, ladies and gentlemen...

Overheard an IT guy in the office today: "......as Eamon de Valera once famously said Windows 7 is much better than XP"