Kids, they'd feckin hang ya!
In the chipper one night with my 6 year old daughter, placed our order and waited. While waiting, an elderly man comes in and obviously had his voice box removed as a result of throat cancer, in order to talk, puts this device up to his throat to talk. My daughter at the top of her voice 'Mum, why is that man talking like a robot?'. Well, I ran out of the chipper dragging her by the scruff but not before everyone fell about the place laughing,staff dived behind the counter tears streaming out of their eyes.
Overheard by Leei, Chipper, Dublin
Posted on Thursday, 08th May 2008
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Rating score (-7) | Comments (9) | Email to a friend |
A gift from God
Walking through the school, 2 'knackers' are ahead of me and one mentions that the teacher isn't in for the last class, the other replies, in a serious tone:
"I know it's a blessed gift, innit?"
Overheard by Anonymous, school stairs
Posted on Thursday, 08th May 2008
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Rating score (61) | Comments (1) | Email to a friend |
Funny Country Folk
On the 46a bus heading home from town when two country lads get on.
One of them makes their way over to me and my friends.
"I dont suppose you could tell us when we get to Foxrock Church?" one asks. We told him we would and continued with our conversation.
We later hear one turn to the other and say "Look! Tomas! Its the sea like, how beautiful?" And they stare intently with jaws open wide.
Absolutely cracking up, we giggle the whole way until we get to Foxrock, at which point I chirp up: "Lads, you get off here."
They stand up and stumble forwads towards the stairs and suddenly start turning the air blue when they miss their stop.
"You have to push the button!" I tell them.
"NO WAY!" Tomas replies, "technology these days!"
Overheard by Giggler1809, On the 46a heading to Dun Laoghaire
Posted on Thursday, 08th May 2008
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Rating score (30) | Comments (8) | Email to a friend |
Even a junkie
Upstairs on a bus going past Christchurch Cathedral a girl (about 10) and her da were talking about it.
Girl: "Have you ever been in there?"
Da: "No, no but anyone can go in, its a church"
Girl: (loud as hell) "even a junkie? like even a junkie off the street?"
Overheard by Anonymous, Christchurch
Posted on Thursday, 08th May 2008
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Rating score (56) | Comments (1) | Email to a friend |
With the top down
My friend ownes a lovely blue convertible car. One warm day she was driving up the keys when three "howaya" girls pull up beside her in a micra.
One of the exclaims "Jasus, your car's magic. Can I have a go in it?"
To which my friend replies "Only if you pay the car loan on it"
One of the shouts back "Jasus, I wonder if they'd take the butter vouchers!!"
Overheard by Pauline, On the quays in Dublin
Posted on Thursday, 08th May 2008
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Rating score (46) | Comments (11) | Email to a friend |
The Mother-in-law
Was at my boyfriends telling his Mother all about what I was plannig to wear for my sisters wedding in 2 weeks time. I tell her about my hair and said I was getting it like your one Jessica Simpson, "you know her" I asked, she replied "yeah" so I went on then her daughter says "you don't know her!" Mother-in-law replies: "I do! She's your one out of the simpsons!"
Overheard by Sharon, boyfriends house
Posted on Thursday, 08th May 2008
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Rating score (33) | Comments (4) | Email to a friend |
a WHAT flurry!?!?!?!?
I was in McDonalds the other day and a load of drunk D4's came in and one go's up to counter and pushes me out of the way and as the girl at the counter asks him what he wants he says "can I have a mcflurry with a grated dildo on it??" and the girl is really confused and shouts back to the manager "tom, do we have any dildo flurrys" the managers walks back into his office shitting himself thinking it was a joke and the D4 says "here missus theres probobly one in there" pointing to her handbag.
they all leave with nothing and a very confused girl at the counter.
Overheard by patrick, McDonalds Omni center
Posted on Wednesday, 07th May 2008
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Rating score (-19) | Comments (5) | Email to a friend |
Don't make the same mistakes I did...
I was in the jacks of O'Donoghues on Saturday night. There was a poor auld fella and another guy at the urinal, so I went into a cubicle, where I could hear the poor auld fella generally wearing the ear of the other guy, telling him what he should do with his life, etc. After a while the other guy started laughing at the auld fella, who naturally got a bit offended:
"Ah yeah, you young fellas, no respect."
"Do you know you're pissing on your leg?"
"Yeah. You think you know it all don't you?"
"No man. Thanks for the advice, that's fine. I'm laughing because you just pissed all down your left leg."
(Awkward Pause...)
"S**t. Did I just piss myself?"
Overheard by Anonymous, O\'Donoghues, Baggot Street
Posted on Wednesday, 07th May 2008
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Rating score (98) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Claim on the brain!
My brother was walkin along the path beside the luas line in the smithfield area in town, these 2 girls were crossin the tracks while the Luas was headin their way,as it did it clipped one of the arm when it passed.with that she screamed out "quick get the reg, get the f**kin reg!!"
Overheard by annmarie, Smithfield
Posted on Wednesday, 07th May 2008
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Rating score (94) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
The Bebo generation
I was in town in eddie rockets with a few mates andin come,in all there dube clad glory, a big, loud, abercrombie wearin bunch of d4 heads....
after braggin about bein "focking loaded" and shoutin down the phone, slaggin every in the place (some had mullets you see) they took 150 pictures of themselves and went on about how "fantastic: they wer.....
one of the guys said to the group...
..."now bebo will know how much fun we had".....
group: "TOTALLY!!!!" (with high-5's all round!!!)
LOOSERS!!!!
Overheard by paul, Eddies off grafton steeet
Posted on Tuesday, 06th May 2008
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Rating score (54) | Comments (6) | Email to a friend |
Thats what friends are for
one girl to another girl on the dart this morning
girl 1: "I had a heavy weekend and drank and ate way too much and now I feel like shit and my skin has broken out in spots..."
girl 2 : "No the spots were there already"
girl 1: " ...........? "
Overheard by Anonymous, dart
Posted on Tuesday, 06th May 2008
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Rating score (144) | Comments (5) | Email to a friend |
If i could just get my hands on that little bastard!!
My mate was telling me about his bad luck this week. He told me that he was driving down the old nangor road in clondalkin and was behind a nissan micra. The driver and front passenger were two women, quite respectable from where he could see them. In the backseat was this little fella about 3 or 4. My mate said he pulled up behind the micra in slow moving traffic and for no reason whatsoever the little fella in the backseat starting giving him the finger and then turning around. Ths went on the whole way down the old nangor road. My mate thought ' fuck this im not putting up with this and started giving him the two fingers back...thinking 'little bastard'. Then the little fella started putting up two hands to my mate telling him to f**k off. My mate drove on and did the same back to the little fella.....with that BANG!!!my mate crashed into another car in his right lane. He wasnt watching and smacked the car out of it beside him. He told me that the last thing he saw as he got out of the car to inspect the damage to both vehicles was the little fella in the nissan driving off breaking his heart laughing but still giving him the two fingers with both hands.....haha
Overheard by pedro, my mate
Posted on Monday, 05th May 2008
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Rating score (61) | Comments (18) | Email to a friend |
Dunnes' Balls!
Next door's kid called looking for his football - he had just kicked it into our back garden. "You'll know it when you find it - my name is written on it."
As soon as he'd gone away our nine-year-old remarked - "those Dunnes are just too proud, writing their name on their balls!"
Overheard by Anonymous, In our kitchen, Clonsilla.
Posted on Monday, 05th May 2008
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Rating score (112) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
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