Overheard in Dublin

After a friend in college tried a Tayto chocolate bar he got from Mace.

"Aah!! It's like a traveler took a shit in my mouth!"

Two Irish lads boarding an early flight, still drunk from the night before: 'Will we get in the front or the back?' 'Are ya mad? Have you ever heard of a plane reversing into a mountain?!'

Group of teenagers walking down the stairs to the street. "I swear to God, lads, Taylor Swift just got onto a Dart!"

Talking to my Irish grandmother the other day about pets. I asked her if she was to have a cat or a dog in the house, what would you have and why. She replied "Ah, I think I'd have to have a dog because you see, cats get in the microwave!"

My Father asked my 4 year old son to recite the alphabet backwards. Expecting him to start with the letter Z. Instead my son turned his back on my father and recited the aplhabet A to Z

Hadn't been back in Dublin in ages as I live in UK now but some things never change. Got off the Luas at abbey at, a guy and girl walking behind me pure scangers.

Guy: "Jaysus what happened?"
Girl: "My Da came down the gaff and bet me up so I called the gaurds. They came down then bet my Da up and took him away. So I went and bailed him out cus ya know I felt it was my fault n all."

Commenting on the match, one patron not to happy with Connor Sammon shouted..."I thought Sammons could leap"

'I was sexting her last night, but I didn't ask her for a ride...obviously'

Pensioner on walking stick, very slowly making his way up Grafton Street, he was near the top end, and when approached (presumably for the 3rd or 4th time!) by a schoolboy who was collecting for charity he bawks and utters: "ara would youse all ever f**k off and leave me alone".

Was on my unicycle down from Maynooth train station when the pedal broke. I got off and walked the rest of the way. Half way down there was this bunch of scobies drinking. One of them shouts "Here, gis a shot of your bike!" I replied "Its missing a pedal." And the scobie shouts "its missing a fucking wheel!"