Fas course
Two Northside Howeyas sitting having a drink and a smoke just back from the Canaries. They had big camel souveniers and sombrero hats, and red skin from the sun.
One of the girls came back from the toilet and stood trying to pull up her zip/buttons. She said to her mate. "Here Charlotte, You need a bleedin FAS course to get dese Levis buttoned up again!!!"
Overheard by Gunner, The old bar in the Airport Downstairs
Posted on Monday, 02nd May 2005
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Posh taxi driver
Saturday night/morning, Dame Street a group of girls sitting on the steps of AIB Bank looking like they'll pass out from the drink when one of them gets up to hail a taxi. With that a taxi pulls over (an E-class merc) and the young one shouts at her friends...
"Would yeez come on I got a taxi and I'm warnin yeez this is a f**king posh taxi driver"... as they all stumble towards the 'Posh Taxi driver'.
Overheard by Lisa, Damn Street
Posted on Monday, 02nd May 2005
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Rating score (240) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
'Just ignore him'
Two girls in a Cinema in Dublin in the 60's!...
"Oh Jaysus the guy beside me is playin wit himself"
Friend: "Just ignore him "....
"I can't, he's usin my hand!"
Overheard by Joe, My Aunt heard this in the Metropole in Dublin in the 60's
Posted on Monday, 02nd May 2005
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It's a miracle!
My brother arrives into Dublin airport and is dying for a pee. He makes it to the Gents but there's a huge queue.He sees that the disabled toilet is free so he decides to leg it in before he wets himself. After relieving himself he's coming out the door when an auld lad still waiting in the queue for the gents sarcastically declares...
"JAYSUS, it's a f**king miracle!'.
Good 'old style' Irish humour! My brother knew he was home!
Overheard by Grainne, Dublin Airport
Posted on Monday, 02nd May 2005
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General Post Office
Mark: "let's go to town."
Gav: "I have to go to the post office first."
Mark: "We'll go to the GPO."
Gav: "Is there a Post Office there?"
Overheard by jon barr, Artane
Posted on Monday, 02nd May 2005
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Rating score (575) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
kids, priceless
When I was at a friends childs 7th birthday party, I over heard two little girls talking about the size of there pupils (black part in middle of eyes) they were amazed that ones were big and the other ones were small so they decided to investigate this further by joining all the other kids and adults in the kitchen and checking out there eyes, when the little girl turned to her granny and says..
"God gran, your nipples are huge" needless to say all but one adult fell around laughing.
Overheard by steph, in a mates
Posted on Tuesday, 03rd May 2005
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Rating score (523) | Comments (1) | Email to a friend |
Sri Lanka
Students: "Were collecting money for Sri Lanka, for charity"
Student 1: "Who is Sri Lanka?"
Student 2: "I'm not sure I think she is famous."
Student 1: "Yeah I've heard the name somewhere before. Is she a singer?"
Overheard by Michelle, St Mary's Holy Faith Killester.
Posted on Tuesday, 03rd May 2005
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Rating score (328) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Hitchhikers guide to the book shop
My girlfriend was looking for a book 'The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy'. After a lot of searching through the fiction area we could not find it so asked an assistant. He put on a puzzeled look and walked over to the travel section to look for it! Found it hard to keep a straight face as did my girlfriend.
Overheard by Dave, book shop
Posted on Tuesday, 03rd May 2005
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Rating score (376) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Help the Aged
My uncle is a landlord, and he has some elderly tenants.
When the Euro came in, an elderly lady was complaining about it to him because she couldn't get her head around the conversion.
"Why can't they wait 'til the old people die before they bring it in?!" she asked.
Overheard by Anthony, Terenure
Posted on Tuesday, 03rd May 2005
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Eaten alive
While walking behind a funeral cortege in a Dublin graveyard a rat scurried across the grass, one old lady said to another....
"I wouldn't like to be buried in this place, you'd be eaten alive."
Overheard by Mick, Mount Jerome
Posted on Tuesday, 03rd May 2005
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On your bike chugger
Walking up Grafton St and I was approached by your typical chugger.......
I tried to keep the head down, but he caught me and say's...
"any chance of a quick word mate"
to which I replied...
"yeah...velocity" and kept walking....
Overheard by paul m, grafton st
Posted on Tuesday, 03rd May 2005
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Rating score (698) | Comments (2) | Email to a friend |
Osama in Dublin
One day while I was taking the 13a from DCU into town I heard a conversation between the bus driver and a muslim looking guy wearing a turbin. It was just after September 11. Anyway the bus driver (complete northsider) said to the guy "You had better not be thinking about taking this bus over and drivin' it into the bleedin' Four Courts!" while everyone else held back the laughter. The poor guy looked confused and took a seat!!
Overheard by Patsy, On the 13a
Posted on Wednesday, 04th May 2005
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Rating score (490) | Comments (1) | Email to a friend |
Yum Yum Anthrax!!!
A mate of mine used to work in the Sunglass Hut in the Liffey Valley Shopping Centre. One day a letter came to the shop and it was full of white powder. Around the same time the news were warning people against terrorist attacks in public places and the Anthrax threats. My mate decided to call security to be on the safe side and would contact the Gardai afterwards. He rang the Anthrax hotline too who told him that experts would be there shortly and if it was infact what he thought it was the entire Shopping Centre would be evacuated immediatly.
When he put the phone down the security guard came over. He stuck his finger in the white powder, licked his fingers and said in a thick inner city accent "Thats not bleedin' Anthrax"!!!!!! My mate called the hotline back and said that he had made a mistake!!
What exactly does Anthrax taste like???
Overheard by Brian, Liffey Valley
Posted on Wednesday, 04th May 2005
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