Mystery Train
On the train from Galway to Dublin, the train stopped for no apparent reason just passed Athlone. After five minutes the driver came on the speaker and said we're just waiting for the 18.15 from Heuston to Galway to pass us. (There's only one track). Five minutes later he repeated this explanation. Five minutes later again he came back on the speaker and said "If the driver of the 18.15 train from Heuston to Galway is on this train can he please go to the guard's van". Cue very perplexed faces on all the passengers.
Overheard by Eoghan, On Galway to Dublin train
Posted on Wednesday, 02nd November 2005
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The Tropical island of Poland
I was sitting in a pub in Skerries with my dim-witted friend Chris a few months ago telling him about my up coming interrailing trip around Europe and mentioned i might go to Poland and he came up this piece of logical gold.
Chris: "Your going to Poland? But you said you were going interrailing?"
Me: "Yeah I am, what do you mean?"
Chris: (smugly)"How are you going to get a train there, Poland is an island. Dont ya know all countries with "land" in the name are islands."
Overheard by Danzel, Nelons pub
Posted on Wednesday, 02nd November 2005
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The state of her.........
Was on my way into town the Tuesday after the bank holier and was half asleep till a few skangers got on and started to review their weekend in our fair city.
They were waffling on about being out of their bracket when one of them starts talking about a mot that Jonno had scored in the swiss cottage on sat night, the other lad asks "was she worth a jant?" to which the storytelling skanger replies, nah she was LEGO....the other lads confused? Lego, he says? Yeah, man, she was in bits !!!
I had to bite my lip !
Overheard by PJ, 41C Bus
Posted on Wednesday, 02nd November 2005
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Me husband's flute
Iwas in a pub in thomas st a week ago when this irate woman came in and approached two other women sitting near me ,irate woman "mary i have a crow to pluck with you , i believe you are going around telling everyone that my hubsand Cristi (pronounced in this way ) has a wart on the end of his flute " 2nd womans response " I swear to god Dolores I never said dat at all I said was dat it feels as though he has a wart on da end of his flute "
Overheard by Fintan, Thomas st pub
Posted on Wednesday, 02nd November 2005
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They only sell them on Moore Street
Sign in Moore Street I saw some years ago for a vegetable:
"Fresh Brockley"
Overheard by Ken, Moore Street
Posted on Wednesday, 02nd November 2005
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Rating score (203) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
B is for B-list Celeb
Whilst watching some colleagues playing in a charity football match at Tolka Park, I was strucj by how many kids, following the match, were eager to have the players sign their own jerseys, programmes, etc. There had been a few celebrities playing, and all the young lads were quite excited about it. One, who looked all of six years of age, ran over to a friend of mine, brandishing a pen. My friend bent down, and smilingly accepted it. The kid squealed, "Mistur, Mistur!! Will yeh sign me BOLLIX!!!!", and ran off cackling to himself.
Overheard by Jim, Drumcondra
Posted on Wednesday, 02nd November 2005
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Construction worker's spelling...
....I was on my way to work about 3 weeks ago, and as I was passing Ringsend Library, I saw that there was construction work going on behind it. Lots of guys with illuminous jackets gathered together in a group...
One of the workers however was not standing with the rest, he was on his own, closer to the street, holding a placard that said (and I quote exactly how it was spelt);
"Sacked for been late"
Overheard by John, Ringsend
Posted on Wednesday, 02nd November 2005
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Some people like bears
Graffiti on a cubicle door in a pub:
"Bear - the reason to get up in the afternoon"
Overheard by Alan, Some pub
Posted on Wednesday, 02nd November 2005
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Rating score (338) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Irishism
Every day I catch the 123 City Imp bus (not a double decker), at least once a week, I see a sign saying "If there aren't any seats look upstairs", I'm from Australia and it humours me to see a stereotypical Irish comment.
Overheard by Simon, Dublin Bus 123
Posted on Thursday, 03rd November 2005
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Rating score (149) | Comments (1) | Email to a friend |
But I did an exam in that langwidge!
Monday night (Halloween). Walking through the cordons towards the boarding pass check and security screening in Dublin airport. A part of four or five people were with me. One of them, a flouncy woman in her fifties or so, in a horrible fur coat and a face load of makeup, was right ahead of me. You know the type, so neurotic and hyperactive that they have no idea how ridiculous they are. I gather she was part of a group of Irish people living in Manchester or somewhere. She kept stopping, holding up the queue, and listening to the PA system, which was droning on about security, baggage, weapons of mass destruction in your luggage, etc. Then it repeated the announcement in Irish. Yer wan kept stopping and listening to it. 'Jasus, do you hear tha or wha? With the amount of bloody asylum seekers coming into the country, they now have to put the announcements in foreign langwidges. Is that Polish? Or is it Russian? I don't know what this country is coming to.' She almost leaps on the poor fecker checking the boarding passes. 'What language is that?' 'What language is what?' 'There, on the loudspeaker' 'That's Irish' 'No, I mean what yer wan is saying, what language is that' 'It's Irish, or Gaelic' 'Ah you're having me on. I passed an exam in that, you can't fool me!' She stalks off, leaving the poor guy with a crumpled brow of bewilderment, looking at me in askance...
Overheard by Blather, Dublin Airport
Posted on Thursday, 03rd November 2005
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Rating score (175) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
You don't have to go home but you can't stay here!
Was in Slattery's pub in Rathmines last week for a few and there was a drunken old man hunched over the bar. As the evening went on he got more gargled and even more noisy! Eventually the barman told him to go home and helped him to the door. As he was leaving, he turned and told the barman politely to "F**k off!" and that he had plenty of other pubs where he could go. Then he left. All was quiet again for about 5 minutes when the old codger burst through the side door and stumbled up to the bar. The barman looks at him and says, "I already told you to go home!" The oul fella looks at him and while scratching his head in typical oul fogey fashion replies "Do you work in every F**kin pub in this town or wat?"
Overheard by Anonymous, Slattery's (Rathmines)
Posted on Thursday, 03rd November 2005
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Mythical Zoo
Was at the Zoo during weekend, in the 'African Plains' section, looking at field with Giraffes, Zebras, Ostriches, etc. There were a few Oryx there, they're a bit like deer with two long thin curved horns (for more info see: http://www.dublinzoo.ie/come_plains_scimitar.htm).
A couple stopped to view the scene. She said "What's that animal there?", pointing to an Oryx. His response? "That's a Unicorn"!!!!! Greek myths are alive and well and living in Dublin.
Overheard by Donall, Dublin Zoo
Posted on Thursday, 03rd November 2005
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Rating score (164) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Smart friend
A friend of mine went to a certain college famous for its chemical intake. Needless to say he fell into the scene of parties etc. His mother, having a good idea what he was up to decides to pay his house a surprise visit. One of his housemates answers the door and my friends mother starts enquiring on her sons whereabouts and activities. He didn't know where my friend was so he shouts upstairs to another guy, oblivious to who is at the door, "Hey, does anyone know where Chris is?" The loud reply: "He's gone to get the pills"
Overheard by Shane, Dublin - some student house
Posted on Friday, 04th November 2005
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Rating score (172) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
