Gangster of Love
My friend has a thing for the new found gangsta types that are cropping up around Dublin. The ones with the timberland merchandise and the bling. They're even starting to wear do-rags! Anyways on a "first date" with one of them, the gangsta wannabe pulls her down a side street and starts pressuring her to come home with him.
She angrily responds "what kind of person do you think I am"
He replies "dont worry, I respect bi***es"
Word!
Overheard by Caoimhe, by my friends, some lane round stevens green
Posted on Saturday, 01st July 2006
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Rating score (185) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Wisdom of a granny
The other Sunday myself and a friend were out for coffee sitting on the grass in the People's Park surrounded by like minded coffee drinkers and families with young kids.
A stressed grandmother passed quickly behind us pushing a buggy with a young child in tow.
"where are you going granny?" asked the chisler
"I'm going over here to get some sense" she replied, much to the delight of those in earshot.
Overheard by f, People's Park Dun Laoghaire
Posted on Monday, 03rd July 2006
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Rating score (18) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Lunch Money
When walking down a side street in the city centre, I saw three construction workers gathered around a parking metre. Money was pouring out of the machine and a hammer and some steel bars were strewn on the ground around the parking metre. The men were gathering up the coins laughing, saying "That's the lunch money sorted then!"
Overheard by Decco, Seen on my lunch break in the City Centre
Posted on Monday, 03rd July 2006
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Rating score (269) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Jam jars
My sister on the Luas a few weeks ago with her kids. Two junkies hassling a foreign couple and spy her looking. One says 'I hope ye can't see antin tru dem jam jars' to which her 6 year old son replies "Actually, she can see very clearly thru them" to which he then replies "jayz - yer man thinks he's on thomas the bleedin tank engine"
They are even funny when high!
Overheard by Lorraine, Luas
Posted on Monday, 03rd July 2006
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Rating score (80) | Comments (2) | Email to a friend |
VH-not impressed
I was in ExtraVision a while back and two girls came in asking the bloke behind the counter whether he sold video casettes for a camera. The bloke gave them a withering look and said "no", "well do you know where we can get some?" says the girls, "try the 80's" says the bloke as he turns his back. Nice
Overheard by Mugwumpjism, ExtraVision, Coolock
Posted on Tuesday, 04th July 2006
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Rating score (384) | Comments (2) | Email to a friend |
Want a bag?
A couple of years back when the plastic bag levy came in, a guy came up to the till where I work and was asked "Would you like a bag sir?" To which he replied: "No thanks, i married one." and walked off.
Overheard by Stephen, Work
Posted on Thursday, 06th July 2006
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Rating score (366) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
B.L.A.N.C.H.A.R.D.S.T.O.W.N
Sitting in my car in south side retail park, 2 guys getting into car beside me, one has thick Dublin accent and the other guy was foreign:
Dublin Guy: "No, we'll try Liffey Valley first"
Foreign Guy: "Not Blanchardstown?"
Dublin Guy: "No, no not Blanchardstown"
Foreign Guy: "Why not?"
Dublin Guy: "Well..(trying to look for the words)..Blanchardstown is...eh...its for (pronouned very carefully and slowly) s.c.u.m.b.a.g.s"
The Dublin guy spots me smiling and, obviously worried, a minute later he goes "excuse me, you're not from Blanchardstown are you??" LOL!
For the record, I don't think Blanchardstown is for scumbags ( I reckon he just didn't fancy going through the toll!!)
Overheard by Jo, Liffey Valley
Posted on Thursday, 06th July 2006
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Rating score (214) | Comments (1) | Email to a friend |
Free-Range
Middle-aged woman asks vegetables-stall holder on Moore street
"Are those onions free-range?"
Stall-holder looks at her and says,
"Yes love, and I'm tellin' ye they're very hard to catch!"
Overheard by Erica, Moore St
Posted on Thursday, 06th July 2006
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Rating score (362) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
E-mail misfortune
There are 2 girls working with us with the same name, one of which is going out with another fella in work, Wardy. Anyway he tried sending this email, 'You look really sexy. I keep checking your ass out. Can I go over and pinch it? xxxxxxxx'. Unfortunately he sent it to the wrong Eimear who obliged everyone by sending it to the whole company. Cue much embarassment and laughter.
Overheard by Mark, Office, off Pearse Street
Posted on Thursday, 06th July 2006
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Rating score (201) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Like...hello!?!
On the back of the No 16 from the airport to the city centre last week, I overheard one American and one English tourist talking about where they needed to get off the bus. The English tourist had a map and said "we need to cross over the river before we get off". Passing over the Liffey (in full tide), the US tourist says, "we're passing over the river now."
Overheard by Eoin, Back of the 16A
Posted on Thursday, 06th July 2006
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Rating score (-81) | Comments (7) | Email to a friend |
Classy birds
I out at a club with my mates one night in temple bar, when a girl taps my mate on the shoulder, pointing over to her friends says "my friend thinks you're massive"...my friends who has a girl friend replies, "unfortunatley i have a girlfriend ladies", to which the girl replies "yeah she thinks your this massive" making a the sign of a very small penis with her thumb and forefinger!
Overheard by Fiachra, Buskers, Temple bar
Posted on Thursday, 06th July 2006
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Rating score (161) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Modern life
Two young kids on bikes cycled past my front door and I heard the older kid say to the other "My da IS married to my ma - that's why they're called the King and Queen"
Overheard by Anonymous, Rialto
Posted on Thursday, 06th July 2006
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Rating score (94) | Comments (1) | Email to a friend |
Safety Paint
In Lenehans hardware store on Capel St last saturday. A woman comes up to a lad serving behind the counter and asks in a flat Dublin accent, "Do you sell Durex paint. I'm looking for a tin of Durex vinyl matt". The lad dosen't bat an eye, stalls and says "God mrs. I haven't heard of that brand before,wait and i'll ask someone else here". Five minutes later there were three male assistants there trying to hold their sides in asking the woman, "Now would you be looking for that in the Extra Large tin - goes a lot further, better value for money...", "Is that for the bedroom love?". The woman looks perplexed and keeps repeating to herself "Durex, durex, is it Durex?". Finally you can see the penny dropping, she goes scarlett and shouts out "Oh jesus!" and legs it out of the shop. Assistants roll about laughing....Ah, the menopause!
Overheard by Erica, Capel St
Posted on Friday, 07th July 2006
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Rating score (441) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
