Animal noises
In Dublin zoo last year I was walking through the farm animals. A little girl (about 6) ran by us. Her ma noticed a sheep and called after her daughter: "look Kelly, a sheep....moo....or Baah whatever..."
Overheard by joey, Dublin Zoo
Posted on Tuesday, 01st August 2006
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Rating score (473) | Comments (3) | Email to a friend |
Winning changes nothing
During the ERC game in Lansdowne Road last April between Munster and Leinster a number of Leinster supporters had T-shirts made up saying Athenry is in Connaught.
A rather slow thinking Munster fan overcome with euphoria after an easy victory for his team accosted one of the Leinster lads afterwards saying "where is Athenry now!" to which the Leinster fan cooly replied "I think it is still in Connaught actually".
Overheard by Dan, Keilys in Donnybrook after the game.
Posted on Tuesday, 01st August 2006
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Rating score (395) | Comments (2) | Email to a friend |
Just Mental
Was in Copper Face Jacks the other night, i seen a fella go up to a group of burds with his dong hangin outa his pants through his zipper. He say to the girls..."I got a new pair of shoes, do u like them"?
Overheard by Dipso, Coppers
Posted on Wednesday, 02nd August 2006
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Rating score (316) | Comments (2) | Email to a friend |
Window to weight gain
I was at a chipper in D1 last night and I was lined up behind a group of about six teenage kids who were waiting for their food.
At one point the morbidly overweight lad in the group goes to pull his mate's pants down in front of the whole shop. He fails, and instead of the strides coming down, a mobile phone falls out of his victim's pocket and smashes on the ground. The kid was livid and yelled:
"Yer stupid fat f**ker! I hope ye gain more f**kin weight!"
I felt a little bad for the kid but laughed like a hyena none the less!
Overheard by Whitey D'LukA, A D1 Chipper
Posted on Wednesday, 02nd August 2006
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Rating score (294) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Hairy legs
Was in River Island on Grafton street last week with my 6yr old niece paying for a pair of jeans. The little brat roars out in front of a very long quene, "Why are you buying jeans with holes in the legs of them, sure isn't everyone going to see your hairy legs"!!!!
Overheard by Anonymous, River Island on Grafton street
Posted on Wednesday, 02nd August 2006
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Rating score (580) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Pregnant? Confused?
D'you remember those old posters for girls up the duff?- they said 'Pregnant? Alone? Confused?.....Get help'
In the lads' jacks in UCD someone had scrawled 'Pregnant? Alone? Confused?..... You're in the wrong toilets'
I fell off the toilet seat laughing.
Overheard by Ronan, UCD
Posted on Friday, 04th August 2006
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Rating score (488) | Comments (1) | Email to a friend |
Spots or stripes?
On our way to see Liverpool play Leeds United at Anfield in 2002, we brought a friend who had never been on a ferry. It was a last minute idea so we ended up getting the slow ferry from Dublin port. The weather wasn't that great and the ship was rocking a fair bit. At this stage we were fairly locked and playing cards for hours which was getting boring. My friend, Mick(the ferry virgin) decides he'll take a walk around the ship. About 20 minutes later he arrives back and says he has an idea to break the boredom. He walks straight up to the barman and politely asks "where the feck the pool is?" the barman and about 20 customers overhear this comment and break out it fits of laughter. He only copped when one of the customers said that they had to get rid of it because ther was a bit of a roll on the table.
Overheard by Spencer T, ferry to holyhead
Posted on Friday, 04th August 2006
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Rating score (181) | Comments (2) | Email to a friend |
Life's lessons
Girl in new relationship telling her long time married friend that her love life was like a "geography lesson between the sheets", as there was something new to learn about each other everytime. Married friend replies that her love life is "more like a history lesson"
Overheard by Anonymous, the green room in Voodoo
Posted on Friday, 04th August 2006
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Rating score (382) | Comments (1) | Email to a friend |
Someone needs to spend more time in the office!!
In Brown Thomas the other day looking at Chloé bags and call over an official looking woman to verify price. Woman comes over and tells us a particular bag is €478.50 and €1032 in the same colour but with a metallic sheen. We ask why is there nearly double for a metallic colour and she launches into a big long disussion about it being this that and the other and "special metallic effect" and "nearly impossible to get from any other designer".
Then the husband came up behind her and asked if she was ready to go. Couldnt believe she didnt even work there!!
Overheard by Raychelle, Brown Thomas, Grafton St
Posted on Friday, 04th August 2006
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Rating score (164) | Comments (10) | Email to a friend |
Comic Value Added Tax
I work in a shop near Trinity College, reductions of v.a.t on products bought in Ireland are available to all non-eu residents. American tourists come in frequently and shop 'tax-free'. One particular loud, slow moving boaterous woman bought a book from me.
Stereotypical American tourist : "Oh can I have one of those tax form receipt thingy's miss?..."
To which i replied, " No, sorry, books have a 0% v.a.t rate"
American tourist: "gosh, okay, thats a pity, the tax free shopping is awesome,... what's everything taxed so much for here?"
my response: ..."free education".
The Irish woman next in the queue was amused.
Overheard by Anonymous, shop near Trinity College
Posted on Saturday, 05th August 2006
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Rating score (231) | Comments (7) | Email to a friend |
Six Stabs = alrigh?
Young wan: "How's decco?"
Younf fella: "he's alright - got out of James's Monday
Young wan: what happend him?"
Youg fella: "6 stabs in the chest - he's alrigh - lucky bastard"
Overheard by nicantuile, Tallaght
Posted on Sunday, 06th August 2006
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Rating score (305) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
The dirty computer!!!
About a year ago a work colleague of mine (working for a financial institution) was speaking to a customer of hers about a loan. While going through the rigs and the reels, the screen froze leaving her unable to proceed with the loan application. Getting very frustrated and annoyed she said to the customer "Im very sorry could I call you back in 5 minutes my computer has just gone down on me!!!!"
We couldnt stop laughing!!!!!!!
Overheard by cm, Work!!
Posted on Monday, 07th August 2006
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Rating score (620) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
The state of Kilbarrack
Was getting the 29A at Eden Quay the other day when two of our American friends boarded. The gentleman asked the driver "Excuse me Sir, where this does Bus go", to which the driver replied "Kilbarrack, bud" The American Gentleman then enquired "What State is that in?", to which our Dublin Bus hero replied, "Its in an awful bleedin state mister"
Overheard by keith, 29A Eden Quay
Posted on Tuesday, 08th August 2006
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Rating score (694) | Comments (1) | Email to a friend |
