Grammatical contortionism
On Newstalk radio, a nice bit of grammatical contortionism...
"In any conflict there does be people do die"
Overheard by Gary, Newstalk radio station
Posted on Thursday, 02nd November 2006
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Rating score (231) | Comments (1) | Email to a friend |
Old dry granny
just before halowe'en my self and the lads from my station were handing out fire safety leaflets in Ballyfermot. An old woman in a wheelchair said to one of the lads: "are you yer man from the calender??" he being a smart ass replies: "ill be anyhing u want me to love" to which she replied: "you wouldnt make my tongue wet"
strange to hear from an 80year old
Overheard by Dubfireman, ballyfermot
Posted on Thursday, 02nd November 2006
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Rating score (493) | Comments (6) | Email to a friend |
Blonde office workers, a great source of entertainment
I was at lunch with a customer earlier on and when I got back to my desk, one of the girls asked what we had. (in house lunch so usually not great)
So I proceeded to tell her the choice was soup or melon, beef or salmon and fruit salad for desert.
After a few seconds she asked me "What are super melons?"
--and yeah, she is blonde--
Some of the guys here are still laughing
Overheard by Anonymous, work
Posted on Thursday, 02nd November 2006
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Rating score (481) | Comments (4) | Email to a friend |
World Vision
While walking through temple bar with my mother, this guy approached and asked would she like to hear more about "World Vision"
She replied, "No tanks luff, i dont need any glasses" She didn't cop on until long after the man had walked by, that he wasn't talkin' about Vision Express.
Overheard by Rosso, Temple Bar, City Centre
Posted on Thursday, 02nd November 2006
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Rating score (253) | Comments (4) | Email to a friend |
Did God laugh too?
Several months ago I arrived late to four o'clock mass in Dun Laoghaire and as it was unusually packed I had to stand at the back of the church. During the lengthy homily a young fella of about five or six standing beside me broke wind with an almighty roar. The stunned silence was only broken by some auld fella of about ninety clapping the boy on the back with the words "That's right son. Let it all out".
Given the surroundings and the incident you could imagine we all found it impossible to hold in our laughter.
Overheard by Jessie, Mass
Posted on Thursday, 02nd November 2006
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Rating score (668) | Comments (3) | Email to a friend |
Ceremony of lighter
At my sons confirmation on the night of the candel ceremony we're in the middle of it when I hear behind me "go on take the bleeding thing" and then "but daaa" then "I said take the bleeding thing" so I look around discreetly and I see the man in question looking as he just had a few beside a very embarrassed young lad holding a lighter!
Overheard by tonyr, St canices chuch Finglas
Posted on Friday, 03rd November 2006
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Rating score (422) | Comments (14) | Email to a friend |
Why townies shouldn't do Agriculture
Just before the Leaving Cert I was giving grinds to two D4 girls in Agricultural Science. One of the short questions on the paper was "why would the weather forecast be important to potato farmers in ireland?"
I would have presumed that everybody who did history in primary school would have learned of the potato famine and blight caused by the unusual muggy weather...but apparently not as one of the girls replied to me:
"so that farmers will know when to put on sun screen"
God be with the next generation....
Overheard by K, Giving Grinds
Posted on Friday, 03rd November 2006
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Rating score (255) | Comments (4) | Email to a friend |
Blow-jobs in the dining room?
I was in the height of my finals in college doing Interior design.
Alot of the projects involved arts and crafts and using chalk pastelles which meant having to blow the chalk dust off the page and therefore everywhere as you worked.
I decided I didnt have enough room in my bedroom and made my way downstairs with all my college work in hand, to which I meet my mother on the stairs who says 'Oh Carly, please don't be doing your blow-jobs in the dining room'.
We couldn't keep the laughter in.
Overheard by Anonymous, Glasnevin June 04.
Posted on Friday, 03rd November 2006
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Rating score (529) | Comments (2) | Email to a friend |
Just out of the Box
Having just witnessed the birth of my first child, I decided to ring my family and tell them the news. I was mid sentence telling my sister how this brand new little person had just entered the world when she cut me short, saying: "yeah, yeah I get ya, just out of the box."
A perfectly accurate description in more ways than one I guess.
Overheard by Dave, Hospital
Posted on Friday, 03rd November 2006
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Rating score (422) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
If only dieting was that simple
Girl(blonde may I add) in Mace at the deli ordering a roll.Polish deli assistant asks her if she would like salad with her roll, girl confers with her friend as she is tryin to "watch her weight" but her friend assures her that salad is "like, totally good for you". Blonde, satisfied, turns back to deli assistant and says "yes salad please, i'll have....mayonnaise"!!!!
Overheard by Caz, Mace
Posted on Friday, 03rd November 2006
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Rating score (129) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Oooh Ahhh...
In primary school early 90's... we were being introduced to a French friend of our teacher. We all had to come up with different questions on aspects of french culture and what not.
So, up pops me, with my question.
'So, do you live near Eric Cantona?'
cue silence from the whole class and teachers friend...silence was broken by one of the lads..."you gobshite, he plays football in Manchester, thats where he lives!"
Overheard by SB, Primary School a few years ago..
Posted on Saturday, 04th November 2006
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Rating score (291) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
The game's up
Two girls walking down St Anne St. "...the only reason blokes give her the time of day is because she's blonde & she's got big tits."
They're on to us lads....
Overheard by Neil, Last Thu evening
Posted on Saturday, 04th November 2006
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Rating score (251) | Comments (2) | Email to a friend |
Long way to go so
On the steps of a church after the funeral of an elderly lady.
One mourner: "That was very sad"
Second mourner: "It was. I'm so depressed I just want to find a nice quiet pub and drink meself into Bolivia"
Overheard by Anonymous, In Clondalkin
Posted on Saturday, 04th November 2006
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Rating score (450) | Comments (1) | Email to a friend |
