McBreakfast
While working in McDonald's early one morning, a customer asked me:
"What do you have for breakfast?"
To which I replied (and I'm quite proud of this!): "Usually just a cup of coffee and a slice of toast."
Overheard by Anonymous, McDonald's Donaghmede
Posted on Sunday, 03rd December 2006
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Rating score (461) | Comments (68) | Email to a friend |
Dont be afraid of the dark
Heard it on the Ray Darcy show, they were asking listeners to text in funny things people say, one woman text that, on turning on my 5 year old daughters bedroom light on this morning she pulled the covers up over her head and asked me to, "turn the dark back on"....
Made me smile anyway.........
Overheard by Paul, M50 Car Park
Posted on Monday, 04th December 2006
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Rating score (219) | Comments (5) | Email to a friend |
Loooooooou-eeeeeese and her mates
Sitting In Kingsland on Dame Street, and some tarty bints (Think Atomic Kitten made up in the dark after 4 bottles of Blue Nun) sitting at the next table yabbering away. One moans about the wind..."and me hay-ur left bleedin flittin from North to South"
Then another member enters restaurant and starts looking for her mates, to which one goes "HEEEEERE, Looooou-eeese!" then under her breath "Heres this f**king bitch"
Overheard by TeeDee, Kingsland Dame St.
Posted on Monday, 04th December 2006
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Rating score (180) | Comments (1) | Email to a friend |
She's faking it!
Queuing outside Cafe en Seine one night, brought to this "Roysh" poser bolthole under sufferance by my brother
up from Kilkenny for the weekend. I was sullenly leaning against a lampost outside when this dressed to the nines, high heeled
blonde barges into me going towards Nassau Street. I held firm so she rebounded off me "Do you mind, roysh not taking up like the whole pavement!"
Given the night I'd had, a few drinks on me, feeling a bit morose and the fact that there was ample room on the pavement to shimmy past me, I uncharacteristically said
"Piss off you D4 bitch!"
"Well actually roysh, I'm from Kilkenny!" as she walks away
"Oh Yeah, well we're from Thomastown you bloody fake, you're not fit to represent the Black and Amber!" my brother calls at her rapidly retreating frame.
Nothing harder on the ear than a D4 affected nasal twang but the country folk that develop it upon moving to Dublin, they're the worst
Overheard by Anonymous, Cafe en Seine
Posted on Monday, 04th December 2006
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Rating score (233) | Comments (10) | Email to a friend |
The Gentleman
Walking out of the Dundrum Shopping centre at the weekend behind two young men iI overheard one say to the other really agressively "yeah jeasus, the sex is great just got her into me room and pounded it into her, went asleep, woke up the followning mornin' lifted up her leg and pounded it in again, til she woke up. She wrecks my head though"
Overheard by Sarah, Dundrum Shopping Centre
Posted on Monday, 04th December 2006
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Rating score (184) | Comments (26) | Email to a friend |
At least she looks good.
While ordering food in Spar, my girlfriend ordered a chicken fillet roll with ketchup. The girl behind the counter said "we only have southern fried, ok?", the girlfriend said "yes, that's fine" then turned to me and asked "is southern fried ketchup nice?". Disgraceful.
Overheard by Rob, Spar, Glenegeary.
Posted on Monday, 04th December 2006
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Rating score (256) | Comments (21) | Email to a friend |
Skanger Shivelry...
Two scangers walking near the 4 courts luas stop...one of them in on a mobile...
"Warrayameam me mate Deco stole the shoite' ourra de sittin' ru-im"
*pause while other person is replying on the phone*
"ah bollix...why did ya lerrum inta de sittin' ru-im?"
I think it's gas that these 'mates' have their own sense of shivelry !!!
Overheard by Chrisssssooooo, Four Courts LUAS stop
Posted on Monday, 04th December 2006
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Rating score (146) | Comments (1) | Email to a friend |
Understanding banking... as a baby
Bank of Ireland, Thomas Street branch, this mother besides me with her little daughter, almost a baby, that points at the big square building and mumbles something.
'That's the bank, luv, where people put ther mony. But not your ma, cause i'm broke and have nutin'
Good to tell them the truth from the start!
Overheard by Anonymous, Bank of Ireland, Thomas Street branch
Posted on Tuesday, 05th December 2006
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Rating score (281) | Comments (1) | Email to a friend |
Consessions
while walking through the grounds of Kilkenny castle, we heard two old dears talking about the inside of the castle. One told the other that it was only €5 in if you are an OLP, the other asked , "what do I need to show to prove I'm an OLP" to which my daughter commented under her breath, "Just your face love"!!
Overheard by Janet, Kilkenny
Posted on Tuesday, 05th December 2006
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Rating score (96) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
How cute, the family must be proud!!
Sprayed on a wall in a dormant building just of Townsend Street (Junkie Central). Gotta love the use of the capitals. Will try and put it as it can be seen
LISa.LYN(This is crossed out, must have forgot she was married)
BEH¬n
Lvs
JoHnER.BEHAn
+
Kids
4
EVER
Overheard by Doots, Dormant Building off Townsend St
Posted on Tuesday, 05th December 2006
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Rating score (279) | Comments (14) | Email to a friend |
Win Win Situation
I was at a house party one night with the lads and one of the lad's girlfriends tagged along too. The party was in full swing, the drink was flowing and she began dancing seductively. When her boyfriend went to get more beer from the kitchen, one of the other lads pipped up. "Show us your tits, or else I'll tell your boyfriend you showed us your tits!!" Its a win win situation!!
Overheard by snotzer, House party
Posted on Tuesday, 05th December 2006
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Rating score (238) | Comments (34) | Email to a friend |
Ciúnas!!!
Saw a sign in Image beauty salon in Ballymun........
'noisy children will be sold as slaves'
Overheard by Anonymous, Ballymun
Posted on Tuesday, 05th December 2006
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Rating score (253) | Comments (10) | Email to a friend |
CIA in Donaghmede
Security guard outside Dunnes Stores trying to sound as professional as possible on his security radio:
"Eh.... that's a negative, there, eh, Patsy.."
Came back an hour later and he had refined his voice procedure to:
"Negatory... negatory"
Brilliant!
Overheard by James, Donaghmede Shopping Centre
Posted on Wednesday, 06th December 2006
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Rating score (183) | Comments (4) | Email to a friend |
