No extras
I was in a crowded chipper a few years ago when a young lad finally pushed his way through the mob and caught the eye of the girl behind the counter. "What'll ya have luv?" she asked wearily...he replied without blinking an eye, "Give us a cheesburger will ya ...without the cheese"...the whole queue sniggered, and finally roared as he added..."n a bagachips bu none o tha stingey stuff mind" .. ( we all assumed he meant vinegar)
Overheard by Anonymous, a chipper in the Thomas Street area cant remember the name
Posted on Tuesday, 02nd January 2007
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Rating score (374) | Comments (2) | Email to a friend |
Buy drinks but you can't smoke
Was at Centra of Stoneybatter during the christmas holidays, were 2 kids not more than 17 years old were buying 2 bottles of Jack Daniels and 2 six packs of beer. Once they paid for all the drinks one of the kids returns to the cash point and asks for 20 silk cut purple, the reply if the cashier was: "You are to young to buy cigarrettes."
Old enough to drink but not old enough to smoke????
Overheard by C&P, Centra in Stoneybatter
Posted on Tuesday, 02nd January 2007
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Rating score (457) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Boxing Day
Many moons ago one St. Stephens night I was walking down Swords Main St. and overheard two teenage girls discussing the Christmas TV."Did ye see "Michael Collins" last night?" enquired one.The other with completly the wrong end of the stick replies "No, me ma HATES boxing!"
Overheard by Hugh, Main St. Swords.
Posted on Tuesday, 02nd January 2007
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Rating score (280) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Daddy? how did you meet mammy?
Graffiti on building site in Smithfield:
'if your muffin needs a fluffin call 087...'
Overheard by Bren, Smithfield
Posted on Tuesday, 02nd January 2007
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Rating score (266) | Comments (3) | Email to a friend |
Drug shocker
I was working in Galway over the summer when there was a news story about Solpadeine and some leading pharmacist wanted it to be made prescription-only because it contains codeine (same active ingredient as morphine & heroin). Anyway I was in the lobby of a hotel in Galway city centre when I overheard 2 elderly inner city Dublin women talking to each other about this.
OAP 1: "I hear there going to ban Solpadeine."
OAP 2: "Yeah! Why?"
OAP 1: "Cos there's heroin in it."
Overheard by Roger, Galway hotel
Posted on Tuesday, 02nd January 2007
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Rating score (173) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Road Rage
I was in the 24 hour spar i visit most nights and i was talking to the foreign shop assistant whose english is not100per cent yet.He was explaining to me about a near crash he had in his car that day due to another motorist overtaking. Quite loudly he says: "AS I LOOKED IN MY REAR VIEW MIRROR HE WAS COMING UP MY ARSE!"
I nearly choked from laughing..........
Overheard by hp, Spar Phibsboro
Posted on Tuesday, 02nd January 2007
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Rating score (395) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
The Ice Cream House
Standing outside Áras an Úachtarain and a woman is beside us with her child.The little girl asks "Mammy whats the name of that house?" the mother informs her child that the name of the house is "Áras an uactar reoite" (the ice cream house!)
Overheard by niamh, In the Phoenix Park outside Áras an Úachtarain
Posted on Tuesday, 02nd January 2007
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Rating score (295) | Comments (2) | Email to a friend |
Know when not to boast
queuing in the postoffice in swords last week two lads behind me. One telling the other (and the entire post office) in a loud loud voice all about his recent trip to amsterdam. no detail was spared when describing the women and drugs that he spent his time with - how many, how long, how much, how hard etc.
The end of his story, as he reached the counter was how he ran out of money, rang his mammy to send him €50 by Western Union. He told her that he had ran out of money for food. The big joke being that "she don' kno' nothin' 'bout wha oi did der". He proudly stated that he was too stoned to get to collect it in time and was here today to collect it.
I nearly broke down laughing when the little old lady in behind the counter refused to give him the money and told him that his mother would have to come and collect it!!!!
No amount of pleading and begging or quoting of regulations was going to change this little old lady's state of mind.
I wonder did he ever tell his mother?
Overheard by Paul, Post Office, Swords
Posted on Tuesday, 02nd January 2007
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Rating score (357) | Comments (4) | Email to a friend |
Can I re-phrase that?
This was overheard by my mam in her office. A fellow co-worker was told someone named Mickey had requested him to ring him. This is how the conversation went.
Worker: "Is Mickey there?"
Woman on the other end of the phone: "Who?"
Worker: "I'm looking for a Mickey."
The whole office erupted into laughter as he hung up in embarrassment, especially when he realised he would have to ring back and rephrase his question!
Overheard by Lauren, office
Posted on Wednesday, 03rd January 2007
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Rating score (319) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
You couldn't make it up
Old couple queing for the last bus on Abbey street, 11.30 January 1st.
Woman: "Very cold isn't it" woman
Man: "Yes, I'd say it's the coldest night this year"
Overheard by Bren, Queing for last bus on Jan 1st
Posted on Wednesday, 03rd January 2007
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Rating score (271) | Comments (4) | Email to a friend |
Beer Goggles
My brother and his mate sitting at the bar in their local, where the people within earshot heard the following conversation.
Brother: "Mick, you're drunk."
Mick: "Feck off. What do you mean?"
Brother: "Your pissed, I can tell when you've had too much."
Mick: "Ah stop messing and keep your voice down, you're very loud."
Brother: "I'm just telling you the facts, just ask anyone."
Mick: "How are you so sure that I'm drunk?"
Brother: "Your gone all blurred."
Overheard by higgs, The Royal Oak
Posted on Wednesday, 03rd January 2007
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Rating score (579) | Comments (2) | Email to a friend |
Bottle of Coke
One mad busy evening a couple of years ago when I was working at the ticket collection point in Ster Century Cinemas in Liffey Valley (now Vue). It was around Christmas time so it would have been around the release time of Harry Potter & Lord of the Rings.
I was standing there taking & checking tickets from the massive que of punters in front of me. All of a sudden a young traveller boy (around 10 or 11 years old) runs past me and goes to the vending machines behind me. I noticed him putting money into the vending machine. (The kid regularly ducked himself past the collection point and went missing in the cinema for a couple of hours, he was well known to security!!!)
I then called for the security guard on the walkie talkie to come and get the boy out. I continued taking the tickets.
After a couple of minutes the kid comes running over to me, blocks the entire que and screams with a complete scrill of overwhelming excitement "LOOK MISTER I WON!!, I WON!!, I WON!!"
The kid was brandishing a bottle of Coke in his right hand!!!
Overheard by R, Ster Century Liffey Valley (Now Vue)
Posted on Wednesday, 03rd January 2007
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Rating score (409) | Comments (18) | Email to a friend |
in times of crisis listen to your stomach
I was on a rugby tour to Milan a couple years ago and as the plane took off from Dublin, an Italian man up the front got into difficulty. There was a big comotion and the stewards laid him on the floor. After a minute the pilot came on and announced the man was having heart trouble and that we were returning to Dublin to get him to a hospital. Then, as the guy lays there, one of the old boys travelling with the team (who had been in the airport bar prior to departure) shouts out: "If he DIES, can I have his BREAKFAST?!"
Practically the whole plane broke into highly inappropriate laughter. I don't think any Italians got it though.
Overheard by Garrett, Aer Lingus 737 to Milan
Posted on Thursday, 04th January 2007
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Rating score (408) | Comments (1) | Email to a friend |
