Stating the obvious
In my mothers house on saturday my granny who was staying over for a few days was on the phone to my auntie who lives in canada, the conversation was going on a few minutes when there was obviously some interference on the line.
After a few seconds of granny repeating my aunties name down the phone and getting no reply she turns to me and my old man (his mother in law) and says in all seriousness
"she seems very far away"
Overheard by ted, Parents house
Posted on Monday, 02nd April 2007
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Rating score (389) | Comments (4) | Email to a friend |
You want a reason?
Man talking to woman walking through trinity, "Cos whenever you get drunk, you get naked!"
Overheard by joetrinners, Trinity College
Posted on Monday, 02nd April 2007
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Rating score (646) | Comments (6) | Email to a friend |
Tuned out
I came in from work one day and my girlfriend messing with the remote. She was getting very frustrated pushing the buttons. I asked what's wrong with you and she said "I cannot get the auto tune to work on the remote, every time I set it, it does nothing"
So I took a look, set it to auto tune Eastenders.
The box popped up and said it was about to start.
She goes over to the TV and puts her ear against the speaker and says "see it does not work it wont play the tune to Eastenders what good is it!"
So then I explained what auto tune was and now every time she uses it I sing the tune to annoy her.
Overheard by Marty Mc Fly, Home
Posted on Monday, 02nd April 2007
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Rating score (428) | Comments (9) | Email to a friend |
Pregnant bird
Was in the garden with my neighbour when three little birds landed on the grass.One of the birds was a lot fatter than the others."OH" said my neighbour "that one must be pregnant!"
Overheard by breda, in the garden
Posted on Monday, 02nd April 2007
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Rating score (398) | Comments (18) | Email to a friend |
Leaked email
Bloke I work with was in charge of sending all the emails this morning for late deliveries apologizing to the customers, and he sent out about 50 stating:
'Sorry for any incontinence caused by this delay....'
Until one person wrote back saying 'Thanks for giving the whole office a smile on a Monday morning but I should probably warn you that there's a big difference between inconvenience and incontinence..a big difference. Have a nice Day'
He hasn't lived it down!
Overheard by ST, At work
Posted on Monday, 02nd April 2007
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Rating score (353) | Comments (20) | Email to a friend |
Travel broadens the mind
I went to hear a famous Klezmer Band when I was in Krakow recently. They were playing in a Jewish restaurant which was full of a tour party of Dublin women. Just as they finished one of their haunting, heart breaking, emotional songs one of the oul wans said: "How about a reel song. Do ye know anny Irish songs?" And a lot of the other oul wans said: "Yeh yeh!!"
Overheard by Anonymous, Kasimierch Poland
Posted on Monday, 02nd April 2007
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Rating score (386) | Comments (38) | Email to a friend |
There's an injured person in trouble somewhere
On the Red Line of the Luas when a Dublin lad gets on with a pair of crutches, both different. Next stop his friend gets on and asks why he's got two different crutches.
"One o' them was robbed off me, so I just went and robbed this one!"
Overheard by Hugh, On the Luas
Posted on Tuesday, 03rd April 2007
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Rating score (677) | Comments (3) | Email to a friend |
Dublin's Warm Welcome To The Polish
Was in Swords there yesterday outside "Advance Pitstop" having my car in for a service. There was a Polish guy trying to get into one of the cars by putting a long metal bar in through the window and trying to lever it down the inside of the car in order to open the door. Now if you didn't know the guy was working there it would have looked extremely suspicious.
Anyways, a boyracer passes by (tinted windows, flames on the side of the car etc.) two guys, and the driver stops in the middle of the road, pulls down the window and decides to embarrass the Polish guy, shouting over
"Guys dat guy is tryin' ta break into dat bleedin' car, will someone f*ckin' call de guards!" And then says "Have ye no respect for yerself at all, breakin' into a car in broad dayligh! Jaysus!"
The polish guy is humiliated, not understanding whats going on looking around very nervously while everyone waiting for their car are in stitches! What a warm Dublin welcome!
Overheard by MarthaFocker, Advance Pitstop, Swords
Posted on Tuesday, 03rd April 2007
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Rating score (520) | Comments (48) | Email to a friend |
Don't be sorry Dolly!
While at the Dolly Parton gig last night in the Point. Dolly apologised to the people of Cork for the cancelled Millstreet concert at the weekend. Some voice from the audience pipes up: "Dolly! It's for the best! They're all a bunch of langers down there!"
Overheard by Anonymous, Point Depot
Posted on Tuesday, 03rd April 2007
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Rating score (809) | Comments (7) | Email to a friend |
French TGV train V Our Luas
Watching Skynews today with my little fella when pictures of the French train breaking the world record for fastest train at 574.4kph, when he turned to me, let out a "wow" and said "that thing's much faster than the luas ...."
Overheard by Derek, At home
Posted on Tuesday, 03rd April 2007
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Rating score (384) | Comments (4) | Email to a friend |
Honours Maths
In maths class last week the teacher was giving out homework.
Teacher:"I want you to do questions 9 and 10 for homework"
Girl(blonde hair of course): "is dat 9 and 10 or 9 to 10?"
Overheard by Joey, school
Posted on Tuesday, 03rd April 2007
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Rating score (298) | Comments (4) | Email to a friend |
'Cause I was worried you wouldn't have my size...
Me and my friends were standing outside Spar about to walk down to the RDS on Sunday to see My Chemical Romance. Anyway there was this guy trying to sell cheap knock off band merch to a few goths not too far from us and it didn't seem to be going so well, desperatly the guys goes "...we've got them in sizes small, medium and large"
One of the goths replies "Oh well, that changes EVERYTHING."
Overheard by , Spar beside the RDS
Posted on Wednesday, 04th April 2007
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Rating score (335) | Comments (5) | Email to a friend |
Spanish aint a normal language!
In post office with my mam and younger brother. My brother runs over to the photo booth, and I ran after him. I started messing with him, turning the writing into different languages. When I turned it to spanish, I left and heard my brother say to me, Jade, turn it back to normal language. hilarious!
Overheard by Jade, Dun Laoghaire post office
Posted on Wednesday, 04th April 2007
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Rating score (147) | Comments (10) | Email to a friend |
