Clockpit
A brand-new cabin crew member on a domestic flight out of Dublin goes into the cockpit to ask the pilots if they need anything. She's never been in an aeroplane cockpit before and she looks around her at all the switches and dials etc. "There's an awful lot of clocks in here", she says to the captain, a friend of mine. He says to her, "They're not clocks, they're dials." So she says, "Oh sorry, dials then" and she points to one of them and asks what that one does. Biting the back of his hand, the pilot says "That one tells the time."
Overheard by Johnnyboy, Overheard in the cockpit of an aeroplane on a domestic flight
Posted on Sunday, 02nd September 2007
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Rating score (133) | Comments (14) | Email to a friend |
Executed Or Hung?
not in dublin but heard by someone from dublin.
In class we were watching a film about capital punishment. After the film was over we were talking about the man involved in the case.
I wasn't listening, but I heard one girl (blonde as per usual) ask the teacher:
GIRL: "Was the man executed or hung?"
TEACHER: "um"
Overheard by Cara & Sarah, Perth, Australia
Posted on Monday, 03rd September 2007
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Rating score (112) | Comments (1) | Email to a friend |
Peckish
In my local in early January and there where the usual bar flies all asking each other how was their christmas, When the new chineese bar man came over to collect the glasses the bar flies asked him did he enjoy his christmass the reply they got was got " =I dont eat crisps" and the barman continued around the other side of the bar collecting glasses.
Overheard by Junior, in the local
Posted on Monday, 03rd September 2007
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Rating score (92) | Comments (5) | Email to a friend |
Carpets made of wood???????
My friend has recently got married to a carpainter, While they where going out (about a year into their relationship) she said "like I dont know why he wants to be a carpainter sure there's no money in laying carpets!!!" As you can imagine she hasnt lived it down!!
Overheard by J, North County Dublin
Posted on Monday, 03rd September 2007
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Rating score (120) | Comments (9) | Email to a friend |
Don't mention the war
3 fellas outside pub on Pearse Street the usual kind you get in a pub at 12 in the morning.
Guy 1: "Ah sure they bombed us by mistake"
Guy 2: "Them f**king Germans!!"
Overheard by L, Pearse Street
Posted on Monday, 03rd September 2007
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Rating score (167) | Comments (2) | Email to a friend |
Feline High
I am lucky enough to work in a hotel on Pearse St that just happens to be 50 yards away from the local methadone clinic....anyways I was out having a smoke in the sunshine at lunch and one of the lads strolls by with his moth and he stops to bum a smoke, he then says to me "ere mistur, who won that hurling match yesterday?".I tell him Kilkenny to which he then turns to his moth and says " I bleedin knew those black pussy's would win"...to which she says to him "Its the bleedin BLACK CATS ya dopey bollix".
Never a dull moment!
Overheard by Nicorigo, Pearse St
Posted on Monday, 03rd September 2007
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Rating score (173) | Comments (10) | Email to a friend |
On the Luas, literally
Mother and daughter were sitting down on the luas passing the Red Cow. Daughter on the phone talking away when person on the other line presumably asks where they are. Daughter only 5 or 6 years of age guesses the Red Cow but she's not to sure so she asks her mother "where are we now?" mother's response - "we're on the Luas!"
Overheard by Jimmers, on the Luas
Posted on Tuesday, 04th September 2007
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Rating score (111) | Comments (1) | Email to a friend |
Financial Regulator....
Was on the hill for the Dubs V Offaly earlier in the year. Someone within the GAA community had passed the previous week so there was a minute silence. About 40 seconds into it the silence is broken by a thick dublin accent up the back of the hill declaring "I dont even know what a tracker mortgage is!!"....Very funny, but ya prob had to be there!!
Overheard by Jasper, Croker park
Posted on Tuesday, 04th September 2007
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Rating score (75) | Comments (8) | Email to a friend |
Annual Genius.....
Was on my way to Croke Park one day having travelled up from my girlfriends house in Kildare. My friend asked me what the traffic was like on the way up. I said it was bad as the entire population of Carlow were on the road for their annual trip to Croke Park, to which he replied "Annual, ye right, its once a fu*king year"...... ha ha, priceless!!
Overheard by Jasper, In my car....
Posted on Tuesday, 04th September 2007
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Rating score (112) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Bad choice of words?
Arrived in the village to post a letter, only to find a postman crouched on his hunkers emptying the letterbox. To my absolute horror I heard myself say - "Do you mind if I give you one?" Couldn't get away fast enough!
Overheard by Anonymous, A village somewhere in county Dublin.
Posted on Tuesday, 04th September 2007
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Rating score (346) | Comments (6) | Email to a friend |
How big is your package.............
I work in the sales department of a certain broadband company based in Dublin. The other day I over heard a colleague of mine use one of the best sales lines ever.
I gathered from the conversation that the potential customer was using a rather slow broadband connection. My colleague, we'll call him Jeff(coz that's his name), on hearing the customers broadband speed decided to try this line "well you have a very small package, do you not find it's very slow......"
Needless to say he didn't get the sale
Overheard by J, work
Posted on Tuesday, 04th September 2007
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Rating score (53) | Comments (6) | Email to a friend |
F in geography?
This was actually years ago - I thnk it was 2002.
I was leaving the Hill in Croke Park after we had just beaten Donegal and a large group of Dub fans were chanting to the Donegal fans "You can shove your British passport up your arse!"
So ashamed to be wearing the blue that day.
Overheard by Ems, Croke Park
Posted on Tuesday, 04th September 2007
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Rating score (152) | Comments (8) | Email to a friend |
Dry Cleaning Extravaganza
A howeya bird having the tackiest wedding known to man had just got her wedding dress back from the dry cleaners - unfortunately all the red beading had come off during the process. Her comment to the only person that would listen - "I sweear to gods - they must have just thruni into the bleeding washin machine or summit!!!"
Is that a word!?? Classy!
Overheard by Dublin gal, TV programme - classified....
Posted on Wednesday, 05th September 2007
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Rating score (67) | Comments (4) | Email to a friend |
