Planet Ireland
In maths class recently.
Teacher: "Michael what planet are you living on?"
Michael: "Ireland......"
Overheard by Anonymous, Maths Class
Posted on Monday, 01st October 2007
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Rating score (142) | Comments (7) | Email to a friend |
Horny holistics
I was in one of those chinese heral remedy shops when one of the Doctors was giving a girl who was with her friend a free consultation!
Doctor: "What symptoms have you got?"
Girl: "Well im moody snap,anxious and im not sleeping well!"
Doctor: "Well what do you think is the cause of your problem?"
Girl and her friend in sync "men" explaining she had just broke up with her fella! The Doctor then prescibed her some Ginseng! Poor girl i thought to myself Ginseng is actually an aphrodisiac! The last thing she needed! I made a quick exit from the shop!
Overheard by anonymous, chinese herbalist shop on grafton street
Posted on Monday, 01st October 2007
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Rating score (36) | Comments (13) | Email to a friend |
Mystery Tour
I was in Atlanta, Georgia at Coca Cola world when one of those greeters (old folk who work in some shops in the US, their job is to keep the shelves neat and chat to the customers) came up to me and asked was I visiting from out of town? I said yes, from Ireland to which he replied:
"Oh I've been to Ireland, wow, you Irish are so friendly, we loved it so much, the people were so nice, the pubs were great, the music was wonderful"
So I asked "Where in Ireland did you visit?" to which he replied "Oh, we flew into Glasgow and we toured all around there and then up to Edinburgh and to St. Andrews and then we flew home from Glasgow"
I was gobsmacked
Overheard by Al, Atlanta, Georgia
Posted on Monday, 01st October 2007
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Rating score (179) | Comments (5) | Email to a friend |
The Guinness gobshites
Working in a pub on the northside, two lads standing outside smoking when the Guinness delivery arrives, after taking off the large kegs they roll a few half size kegs past the lads, one turns to the other and says "I wonder what's in them", without a moments hesitation the other guy says, "they're the glasses of Guinness ya gobshite"
Overheard by Nick, Northside Pub
Posted on Monday, 01st October 2007
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Rating score (287) | Comments (2) | Email to a friend |
I love English burrds
2 guys waiting on the bus in town, one says to the other: "I'm goin' over to Fishguard (Wales) next weekend with the lads, should be good, I love English birds........love 'em I do."
Overheard by Jimmy, Waiting on the 83 bus in Dublin City Centre.
Posted on Tuesday, 02nd October 2007
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Rating score (153) | Comments (2) | Email to a friend |
The Menu
Working in a restaurant in Malahide, standing talking with a colleague while waiting for a particular table to get seated. As they proceeded to check out the Menu one AJH ( Ah jaysus howya)turns to the other and said.." Ma wha ya havin' for starters? The reply was..."I was goin' to have the prawn cocktail, but I don't like the texture in me mouth, in anyways they don't taste the same as a package a skips"!!!
Overheard by Alan, At work
Posted on Tuesday, 02nd October 2007
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Rating score (230) | Comments (12) | Email to a friend |
Piracy
In the cinema the other nite, group of teenagers up down the back. The usual anti-piracy, 'you wouldnt steal a handbag, dont steal a movie', ad is played...just after it, one of the girls shouts to other in a country accent:
"You did that! didn't ya Claire?"
Overheard by Davey, Savoy Cinema
Posted on Tuesday, 02nd October 2007
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Rating score (148) | Comments (2) | Email to a friend |
Extinct I think!
Was in Dublin zoo during the summer with my friend and our kids when we noticed a gap in the fence where we could view the cute and hairy new baby elephant at the back of the new elephant compound. A couple of classy woman with their kids also came over when one says to the other "Ah Jeysue Trisha, look at the elephants" to which Trisha knowingly replied, "No Mandy they're not elephants, they're mammoths!"
Overheard by Rachel, Dublin zoo August 2007
Posted on Tuesday, 02nd October 2007
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Rating score (172) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Bi-lingual Chugger
Walking down Grafton Street with my cousin a couple of years ago I was set upon by an African chugger asking if I had time for blahdy blah, the usual spiel. I replied in my best French accent "Je suis désolé monsieur, je ne parle pas anglais" (I don't speak English). This only encouraged him as he spouted a sentence in French at me, none of which I caught. I stopped and said "Sorry mate, don't speak French" and walked off.
I knew paying attention in school would pay off eventually
Overheard by L D, Grafton Street
Posted on Wednesday, 03rd October 2007
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Rating score (151) | Comments (16) | Email to a friend |
Shopping
Two lads in front of Bruxelles pub on an early Monday afternoon:
Lad #1: "I thought we are going shopping?"
Lad #2: "Yeah, we gonna shop pints first."
Overheard by York, Bruxelles
Posted on Wednesday, 03rd October 2007
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Rating score (195) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Are you there Michael??
Was in one of these 'Angel' shops the other day, you know these places that sell mystical/spiritual items such as cd's, angel cards, and also perform healing. A customer who had just undergone a healing session was telling a story to other customers about when she went to visit a medium to try and contact her dead husband. The shopkeeper was listening in the background. It was a very sensitive subject. She was telling the part when the medium got in touch with some spirits:
Customer: "Then the medium said that on one side she has come in contact with a person, but is not sure of his name, and on the other side she has a Mickey (the customers dead husbands name!).
Shop Keeper: "Is that his only body part she had?"
Overheard by Anonyous, In an Angel shop/healers
Posted on Wednesday, 03rd October 2007
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Rating score (208) | Comments (6) | Email to a friend |
The pearly flight gate
Friday night. My grandmother is on her deathbed after a long illness and my uncle rings my mother who is living in the u.k and tells her that Ma is dying.
My mother quickly respones, "Can you ask her to hang on till Wednesday as I can't get a flight till then?"
Overheard by estaban, Ballyfermot
Posted on Wednesday, 03rd October 2007
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Rating score (183) | Comments (1) | Email to a friend |
What's in a name
Working in a Bank years ago. A fella came to the counter with a withdrawal slip. I wasn't sure of the surname on the docketso I asked the following question "Is it long?" The reply: "Mind your own business"
Overheard by Michele, A Bank
Posted on Wednesday, 03rd October 2007
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Rating score (161) | Comments (4) | Email to a friend |
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