Proving teacher wrong on your first day!
My daughter is 4 and started school in September so I spent her first morning in the class with her. The teacher was explaining to the kids about the swallows leaving Ireland for the winter and my daughter promptly replied:
"they are not, they are on the wires outside my nanny's house they were there this morning!"
Overheard by Ciara, first day of school
Posted on Friday, 01st February 2008
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Beyond admiration
I was on the train on the way to work today. Rugger buggers all over the place. I was stuck standing between carriages surrounded by a sea of green jerseys. I'm on the Maynooth line and it was a direct to Connolly so it was jammed. Anyway there's all these ould rugby types all standing around talking about rugby and their glory days. Like uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite. Anyway they're going on about so player from the midlands and how great he was and all the run ins they had with him. So its all very jovial and then someone mentions another fella. And everyone’s yabbering on about him. One of the fellas said "Jaysus I remember him. Very fit strong fella, out training every evening in his little white togs. Jaysus he was lovely......." Then....................dead silence. All the other lads are looking around uncomfortably or have their faces scrunched up like they just found a sh*te on their coffee table.
Overheard by Briantwin, Train to connolly station
Posted on Saturday, 02nd February 2008
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So true
While watching a Fureys and Davey Arthur concert on telly over Christmas. Finbar is introducing the band he says over here we have Davey Arthur half Irish half Scottish "one half of him wants to get drunk the other half doesn't want to pay"
Overheard by brian, on the telly
Posted on Sunday, 03rd February 2008
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An Irish Coffee
Myself and the wife decided to invite a few friends and family to the house on New Years Eve for a few beers and a bit of craic. I decided to make some Irish Coffee and asked everyone if they would like one.
My neighbour Liz said "Yes please, but you have a lot to live up to as my father makes a mean Irish coffee"
To which my brother Sean replies "Yes I know, he puts feck all whiskey in it"
Overheard by Keith, At home, Mullingar
Posted on Sunday, 03rd February 2008
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A slight exaggeration
Walking down Georges street in Dublin, an elderly Dublin man with a stick, stopped me and said "here young fella, ya wouldn't help me across the road, me sight isn't the best", I said no problem and walked the man across. Half way there, he turned and said "jaysis, thanks young fella, the last time i tried to cross the road i got flattened by a bus"!!!
Overheard by David, Georges street, Dublin
Posted on Sunday, 03rd February 2008
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Living in her Dublin bubble
First week of first year college, a group of us were chatting about how we were all making the transition from secondary to 3rd level etc. One of the lads from Cork joins in the conversation:
"The hardest part for me is living in Dublin. I'm from a really small country village. I'm not used to the traffic or anything.
Sure, I was on O'Connell Street the other day and I nearly got run over by a double decker bus."
A Dublin girls replies: "What? You mean you don't have ANY Dublin buses in Cork?"
Overheard by Anonymous, By the couches, Henry Grattan Building, DCU
Posted on Monday, 04th February 2008
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Rating score (293) | Comments (6) | Email to a friend |
Surely it must be a bull?
English teacher in my school teaching somewhat misbehaved class: "You are all acting like elephants in a china shop!"
Overheard by Anonymous, in school, dublin
Posted on Monday, 04th February 2008
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Rating score (252) | Comments (10) | Email to a friend |
Toungue Tied
In my local Tesco recently when I hear a mother and her daughter who was no more than three asking the child if she would like anything the daughter replied in a fairly loud tone "yes mammy I want some cockporn!!" Needless to say the mother knew what she was talking about.
Overheard by Anonymous, Tecso
Posted on Monday, 04th February 2008
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Rating score (402) | Comments (8) | Email to a friend |
On tap
I was having a meal with my family in a restaurant There were Canadian tourists sitting in the next table. When they were ordering their food, they asked the waitress, "What do you have on tap?" The waitress replied "water"
Overheard by Antoinette, Kingfisher Restaurant, Parnell St., Dublin. 1.
Posted on Tuesday, 05th February 2008
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Rating score (346) | Comments (3) | Email to a friend |
Dysfunctional Wife
I was working in Ann Summers last year when two girls came up to me.
1st girl: "Can you give me something to help give my husband a reaction"
2nd girl: "I keep tellin ye, it's erection!!"
Overheard by Cathy, Ann Summers
Posted on Tuesday, 05th February 2008
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Rating score (316) | Comments (11) | Email to a friend |
Perfect Diction
They were discussing Brain Training for the Nintendo DS on the Rick O'Shea show on 2fm. We have the radio on in work. The discussion was about how it's difficult to get the voice recognition games to work.
A real Dub in the office exclaims:
"Yeah I can't evor ge da te worek on me yoke. Can't undorstan me wen I say the culur Redt. As fawr numbors!! Can't ge eh te worek ar all"
There's a surprise
Overheard by Anonymous, In Work
Posted on Tuesday, 05th February 2008
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Rating score (346) | Comments (24) | Email to a friend |
God help the tourists!
I was in McDonalds last Monday having some hangover food when I overheard a Dublin lad telling 2 American tourists where to visit in Dublin. He was going to sketch a map for the 2 girls and he asked them for a pen and then he started to give them an irish lesson and he started with:
"Now girls, The word Biro is the Irish word for a pen"
I was never great at irish but come on!
Overheard by Trevor, McDonalds on O'Connel Street
Posted on Wednesday, 06th February 2008
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Rating score (416) | Comments (3) | Email to a friend |
Best excuse for being a slut ever!!!
A young girl in her teens arrives to an emergency department at a Dublin hospital.
The nurse escorts her into an room and asks her why she is here? The young girl bursts into tears and explains she fears she is pregnant! When the nurse asks her the relevant questions it comes to light to the nurses shock the young girl replies she has been sexually active for over a year and has had sex with over ten boys who she wasn’t particularly close to or fond of.
Hesitantly the nurse proceeded to ask why then she had had sex with so many boys she had no strong feelings for.
To which the girl replied without hesitation and very frankly that she wants "to get in as much practice as she can so she will be good for when she does meet Mr.Right!!!
Overheard by Anonymous, A nursing lecture in UCD
Posted on Wednesday, 06th February 2008
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Rating score (319) | Comments (8) | Email to a friend |
