D4ishness at it's best
I was in UCD for a debate and this D4 kid comes up in a Ralph Lauren shirt we didn't know what his name was so we called him Charles because he talks like he's 'focking' Prince Charles. So he went up to speak with this proper stiff upper lip English accent. Sounded like he'd been born & raised in England. We asked him what part of England he was from afterwards & he said ''Actually im from Castleknock..'' He also bragged about his Hugo Boss socks...what an odd chap!
Overheard by Anonymous, UCD
Posted on Thursday, 01st May 2008
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Rating score (226) | Comments (29) | Email to a friend |
Jury Duty
At an office party, a colleague was on jury duty all week. A new temp had started and met him for the first time.
Temp: "I haven't seen you in work, are you new?"
Colleague: "No, I've been on jury duty."
Temp: "Oh, Is that a hobby of yours?"
Overheard by gibson, Office Party, Dublin
Posted on Friday, 02nd May 2008
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Rating score (461) | Comments (3) | Email to a friend |
Nutter
Was in Dundrum shopping centre. Standing outside River Island with some friends. Old woman walks by and is looking in the shop window. We take no notice, Next minute the woman says : "I WASN'T FECKIN LOOKIN AT YIS."
We just ignore her and walk a few steps away. She walks by again and says: "I SAID I WASNT FUCKIN LOOKIN AT YIS, FECKIN EEJITS THESE DAYS."
Overheard by Anonymous, Dundrum Shopping centre
Posted on Friday, 02nd May 2008
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Rating score (398) | Comments (6) | Email to a friend |
Dunnes' Balls!
Next door's kid called looking for his football - he had just kicked it into our back garden. "You'll know it when you find it - my name is written on it."
As soon as he'd gone away our nine-year-old remarked - "those Dunnes are just too proud, writing their name on their balls!"
Overheard by Anonymous, In our kitchen, Clonsilla.
Posted on Monday, 05th May 2008
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Rating score (495) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
If i could just get my hands on that little bastard!!
My mate was telling me about his bad luck this week. He told me that he was driving down the old nangor road in clondalkin and was behind a nissan micra. The driver and front passenger were two women, quite respectable from where he could see them. In the backseat was this little fella about 3 or 4. My mate said he pulled up behind the micra in slow moving traffic and for no reason whatsoever the little fella in the backseat starting giving him the finger and then turning around. Ths went on the whole way down the old nangor road. My mate thought ' fuck this im not putting up with this and started giving him the two fingers back...thinking 'little bastard'. Then the little fella started putting up two hands to my mate telling him to f**k off. My mate drove on and did the same back to the little fella.....with that BANG!!!my mate crashed into another car in his right lane. He wasnt watching and smacked the car out of it beside him. He told me that the last thing he saw as he got out of the car to inspect the damage to both vehicles was the little fella in the nissan driving off breaking his heart laughing but still giving him the two fingers with both hands.....haha
Overheard by pedro, my mate
Posted on Monday, 05th May 2008
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Rating score (485) | Comments (18) | Email to a friend |
Thats what friends are for
one girl to another girl on the dart this morning
girl 1: "I had a heavy weekend and drank and ate way too much and now I feel like shit and my skin has broken out in spots..."
girl 2 : "No the spots were there already"
girl 1: " ...........? "
Overheard by Anonymous, dart
Posted on Tuesday, 06th May 2008
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Rating score (493) | Comments (5) | Email to a friend |
The Bebo generation
I was in town in eddie rockets with a few mates andin come,in all there dube clad glory, a big, loud, abercrombie wearin bunch of d4 heads....
after braggin about bein "focking loaded" and shoutin down the phone, slaggin every in the place (some had mullets you see) they took 150 pictures of themselves and went on about how "fantastic: they wer.....
one of the guys said to the group...
..."now bebo will know how much fun we had".....
group: "TOTALLY!!!!" (with high-5's all round!!!)
LOOSERS!!!!
Overheard by paul, Eddies off grafton steeet
Posted on Tuesday, 06th May 2008
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Rating score (510) | Comments (6) | Email to a friend |
Claim on the brain!
My brother was walkin along the path beside the luas line in the smithfield area in town, these 2 girls were crossin the tracks while the Luas was headin their way,as it did it clipped one of the arm when it passed.with that she screamed out "quick get the reg, get the f**kin reg!!"
Overheard by annmarie, Smithfield
Posted on Wednesday, 07th May 2008
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Rating score (496) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Don't make the same mistakes I did...
I was in the jacks of O'Donoghues on Saturday night. There was a poor auld fella and another guy at the urinal, so I went into a cubicle, where I could hear the poor auld fella generally wearing the ear of the other guy, telling him what he should do with his life, etc. After a while the other guy started laughing at the auld fella, who naturally got a bit offended:
"Ah yeah, you young fellas, no respect."
"Do you know you're pissing on your leg?"
"Yeah. You think you know it all don't you?"
"No man. Thanks for the advice, that's fine. I'm laughing because you just pissed all down your left leg."
(Awkward Pause...)
"S**t. Did I just piss myself?"
Overheard by Anonymous, O\'Donoghues, Baggot Street
Posted on Wednesday, 07th May 2008
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Rating score (529) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Plant Hire
Several years agoI was sitting beside my sister in the car on the drive home from work. We passed a sign for a well known local plant hire company, and my sister looked at it intently for several moments until we lost sight of it.
she nudged me ont he arm and asked:
"Why would anyone want to hire a plant?"
Needless to say, we were in stitches
Overheard by Anonymous, in limerick
Posted on Wednesday, 07th May 2008
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Rating score (312) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
a WHAT flurry!?!?!?!?
I was in McDonalds the other day and a load of drunk D4's came in and one go's up to counter and pushes me out of the way and as the girl at the counter asks him what he wants he says "can I have a mcflurry with a grated dildo on it??" and the girl is really confused and shouts back to the manager "tom, do we have any dildo flurrys" the managers walks back into his office shitting himself thinking it was a joke and the D4 says "here missus theres probobly one in there" pointing to her handbag.
they all leave with nothing and a very confused girl at the counter.
Overheard by patrick, McDonalds Omni center
Posted on Wednesday, 07th May 2008
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Rating score (497) | Comments (5) | Email to a friend |
The Mother-in-law
Was at my boyfriends telling his Mother all about what I was plannig to wear for my sisters wedding in 2 weeks time. I tell her about my hair and said I was getting it like your one Jessica Simpson, "you know her" I asked, she replied "yeah" so I went on then her daughter says "you don't know her!" Mother-in-law replies: "I do! She's your one out of the simpsons!"
Overheard by Sharon, boyfriends house
Posted on Thursday, 08th May 2008
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Rating score (519) | Comments (4) | Email to a friend |
Stay outta the bookies
I was in the bookies, had 1 horse and up waitin on another for a double. A nice few quid and badly needed. Just before the race my younger brother comes in, never backs horses by the way, so race was off, my horse leading coming close home them 1 flies out of the pack catches my horse. I and was gutted! My brother says "if tha horse wasn't there now ou woulda won!" How I didn't choke him.
Overheard by brian, bookies in Limerick
Posted on Thursday, 08th May 2008
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Rating score (254) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
