Waiting outside the Super Valu in Palmerstown and a young mother is walking out with her little girl (2/3) and she says to the little girl ahh look at the doggie, to which the little girl walks over puts her face into the German Shepard's face and calmly says "Fuck off doggie" and continues on walking home.
I was sitting outside The Galway Hooker, beside Heuston Station , having a beer waiting to go the Blur gig with my girlfriend. There was this middle aged English couple having a drink at the table over from us, over for a holiday it transpired.
Anyway, this Dub comes over and sits down beside them having a smoke, drinking a red bull. Decent looking fella but completely full of chat to the couple. Anyway, the Dub starts asking the couple all about themselves, what they work at what part of England they are from etc - and then the gentleman asks the Dub "Sooo...did you ever work in England yourself?" "Oh Yes" assures the Dub.... "What part" says the gentleman..... "Wales!".... says the Dub............ I nearly F***in choked on me pint!!!
Was shopping in American Apparel when a girl came up to me with a pair of jeans in her hands saying
'Hey, do you have these in da shine?'
I'm guessing she was looking for disco pants
Was having lunch with work mates in Dame Street. Behind us were a group of three American ladies, two in their twenties, one around fifty. When the waitress went to serve them....
Waitress: 'Would you like to order?'
Americans: 'Not yet, I love your accent where are you from?'
Americans: 'Where in Ireland is that?'
Walked past three women talking in Dunnes this morning, all I heard was "Ah well... if you spend all day looking at vaginas in work, you're hardly gonna want to look at one that evening are ya?"
I was part of a large crowd gathered outside a church for a funeral. We were dressed in suitably dark, formal clothing, holding wreaths of flowers and waiting for the hearse to arrive. A Mrs Doyle type woman came up to us and said brightly "What's on?". We stared at her incredulously for a few seconds and then somebody said "We're waiting for One Direction".
Sitting in Bewleys beside some American tourists who had been on a month long "vacation" in Ireland. They were speaking to a relative and were asking why the city folk had such a negative opinion of people from outside of the city.
Tourist: Why is it that ye guys call the country people Cultchies? Is it because some are a different religion?
Dublin relative: Ah they are like the rednecks yous have in the states.
Tourist: But the city folk here are more like rednecks than the country people, they walk around with their hands down their pants and can be very rude.
I was out smoking on my doorstep last night and heard a group of lads walking past.
They must have been out boozing when I heard this little gem
Guy 1: "Great night. Bugler's is a great pub."
Guy 2: Yeah it's so clean, had a nice dump in it."
Guy 1: "Ah you can't beat a pub that you can have a nice dump in."
When visiting my Irish parents in Australia, I asked if they would like tea or coffee. Dad who is mum's primary carer, as she has alzheimers said he'd have black tea.
I made a white tea for mum and a black tea for dad. When I handed them the tea in the lounge, dad took one look into his cup...
Dad: "There's no milk"
Me: "You said you wanted black tea"
Dad: 'Yeah, but I wanted milk in it!"