Atishoo!
A man in pub sneezed very loudly and dramatically. A woman two tables away leaned over to her friend and said: 'Jaysus, you'd get whiplash ourra dah...'
Overheard by Philip, Brady's pub, Shankill, Co. Dublin
Posted on Tuesday, 22nd June 2010
Cooper Jack Fish
Having a drink one sunday evening and sitting across from us were a group of German men. They were well on it and friends of theirs came to join them, they were not German so they spoke in English to each other. One of them piped up and said 'I hear if you want to kiss Irish girls you must go to Cooper Jack Fish!'
Overheard by S, O'Donoghues, 15 Merrion Row
Posted on Friday, 21st May 2010
Insult to injury
The morning after a friend's birthday party we all went to the pub for the cure. One of the lads feeling a bit peckish asked the barman 'Do you serve nuts here?'
Without battin an eyelid, the barman replies `We serve everyone!'
Overheard by Blanch, Pub in Inchicore
Posted on Sunday, 16th May 2010
Anyone seen a tiger?
Friend of mine on jury duty for a tiger kidnapping trial. Sitting in the local one night an everybody quizzing him and him givig nothing away,w hen one of the girls says "can you even tell us where they kidnapped the tiger from?"
Overheard by larry, the local
Posted on Sunday, 28th February 2010
Baby Bird
My wife and I sitting having a carvery in the Coachmans beside the airport. Sitting beside us was a young woman with her child and her elderly mother. We made some polite coversation with them and began to eat our dinner. The woman and her mother were quiet and then the mother exclaimed " There are no budgies allowed in here" to which the daughter replied "What". " There are no budgies allowed. Theres a sign on the door on the way in and it says No Prams Or Budgies Allowed" To which the daughter then replied "BUGGIES ya fuckin eejit ya". My mouthful of food nearly flew across the room with laughter.
Overheard by Tony, Coachmans Inn
Posted on Monday, 15th February 2010
Lost a pound and found a penny!
I am English, but my wife is Irish, when we were courting we were having a quiet drink in a pub and I noticed that the guy sitting next to me had dropped a punt on the floor (this was in 1987)
I leaned across and said "excuse me mate but you've dropped a punt on the floor"
He picked it up and said to the barman "How about that? how many people would have said anything, Jesus him being English and all?"
He then bought me a pint of Guinness and would not take no for an answer
Price of a pint of Guinness at that time? over 2 punts!
never forgot it.
Overheard by Martin, can't remember the city centre pub
Posted on Monday, 25th January 2010
Number two outta three aint bad
while in trap one of the toilets in Freehills tavern in Crumlin I thought I was the only person in there when I overheard the following from the other toilet cubicle....
"hnnggggggghhh" (dunno how to spell it bit it was kind of a grunt)
followed by a well rounded "bloooop"
right after which he just burst into song..."baby we can talk all night...."
so bizarre I nearly choked holding in the laughter.
Overheard by Peter, Freehills Tavern
Posted on Sunday, 22nd November 2009
The sleeping Genius of Brendan Behan
I was drinking in "The Pint" Pub on Eden Quay when I heard an older gentleman talking to the barman about Brendan Behan, the beloved and infamous Irish playwright who died a few years previous. The older gentleman described how once he walked into the Metro bar some year ago for an early pint as, he was working all night. At an early bar, the older gentleman found Brendan Behan slumped at the bar seemingly asleep. An American couple walked in and began waxing about how beautiful Dublin was in the summer etc etc. The lady, after a long loud deliberation, told the barman that she felt like something long and cool. At that moment, Behan, seemingly asleep, raises his head and grunts to the barman, 'give her a Polar bears Micky'.
Overheard by Anonymous, The Pint bar
Posted on Wednesday, 11th November 2009
Still alive
I was outside a pub in the smoking area and as a old lady approaches the pub one of the lads shouts at her, "Jasus Noola are you still alive"
Overheard by Derek, Pub in Blanchardstown
Posted on Thursday, 15th October 2009
Northside Leinster Fans
sitting in a northside boozer watching the Leinster v Munster game...one of the locals turns to his mate and asks "any tries scored yet man?"...his mate replies "No, not yet, just conversions"
Overheard by Jimmy, The Carpenter Pub
Posted on Wednesday, 07th October 2009
Full Metal Jacket
Working behind the bar one night a few weeks ago,
Two guys at the counter having a discussion thats starting to get heated,
Fella #1 says : "Dont start wih me, I've a machete and chainsaw in me shed and a shotgun under me bed, You dont wanna see them!"
Fella #2 replys : "Well I've a f***in' tank in my attic, You dont hear me bragging"
Everyone was rolling around laughing.
Overheard by Paddy, Stoneybatter
Posted on Wednesday, 05th August 2009
To lose??-- Toulouse??
On my way to the Ireland-France Six Nation match in the packed 16 Bus some Kerry lads get in contact with some French guys. The Kerry lads ask them: "Are you ready to lose?"
Frensh guys, laughing but a little bit puzzled: "Toulouse?" We are from Paris...
Kerry guys *looking puzzled*
Overheard by Hilke, on the 16 bus
Posted on Friday, 03rd April 2009
He won't be using that one again!!!
Standing having a smoke in a Dublin niteclub early one nite. Overheard the following between a guy and girl.
Guy: "Six foot penguin"
Girl: "Wha?"
Guy: "Jus tot a six foot peguin would break the ice"
Girl: "5'2 woman"
Guy: "I dont get it"
Girl: "if ya don't f**k off a 5'2 woman will break your face!!!"
Overheard by jen, Heaven niteclub
Posted on Saturday, 28th March 2009
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