Blinded by the lights
A few weeks back i was at a party at a friends appartment, a few of us were standing outside on the balcony, when one of the lads pipes up before thinking and says " D'ye see all those lights over there........thats............Not the airport " The pause in the middle when he realised what he was going to say was pure comedy gold.
Overheard by Anonymous, appartment on Cork street
Posted on Saturday, 06th October 2007
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Rating score (64) | Comments (8) | Email to a friend |
Now thats ambition!
My mate was telling me about a time when his mother babysat a couple of young kids. The older of the two went up my mates mother and said "Emily is so stupid; I asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up and guess what she said". Mates mother asked Emily (about 3 or 4 yrs old) what she wanted to be when she grew up. Emily's response: "I want to be a dog!".
Overheard by Anonymous, In the pub
Posted on Thursday, 18th October 2007
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Rating score (60) | Comments (7) | Email to a friend |
God Bless the Dublin accent!
When out for dinner with a group of friends in Bulgaria. My friend is a bit confused by the local dish that is served to him. So he calls back the waitress:
Puzzled Friend: (in best Dublin accent) "Are these supposed to be cold??"
Waitress: (no reply....leaning in to listen again)
Puzzled Friend:(slower and louder) "Are these A-PO-IS to be cold??"
Overheard by Debbie, On holidays with friends in Bulgaria
Posted on Friday, 04th April 2008
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Rating score (154) | Comments (12) | Email to a friend |
Anyone For Tennis
On the Just a Minute Quiz on 2FM
Q: "What is the National Sport of Japan"
Contestant Answered: "Badminton"
Overheard by Catherine, 2FM
Posted on Friday, 24th November 2006
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Rating score (168) | Comments (1) | Email to a friend |
Weight Watchers
Woman in chipper says to person taking orders
"Hav ya anythin Low Fat? I'm on a diet"
Overheard by Shel, Macari's chipper Dublin
Posted on Monday, 11th April 2005
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Rating score (100) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Classy lady
A cold night in a Car park in Ballybrack Village. A Dublin women in her 40's steps out of the car for a smoke. Realising it was too cold she climbs back into passenger seat and says "stick the arse inside and the smoke out the windeh"
Overheard by Anonymous, Ballybrack
Posted on Sunday, 11th November 2007
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Rating score (106) | Comments (7) | Email to a friend |
The Presidents Cat
Was at the zoo last weekend and we passe the Aras explained to my 7 yr old son that the president lived there.
Anyway, while walking through African Plains we came upon a stray cat when my son piped up and said " Maybe it belongs to Mary McAleese"
Kids are great
Overheard by Anonymous, Dublin Zoo
Posted on Wednesday, 17th October 2007
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Rating score (151) | Comments (13) | Email to a friend |
We don't sell that here
Customer:"A chicken sandwich, please."
Cashier: "Huh?"
Overheard by Tim, O'Briens Irish Sandwiches - Rathmines
Posted on Thursday, 03rd March 2005
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Rating score (236) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Mary Mary quite contrary
Harassed mum was driving a car load of young ones home from gym - all hyped up and giddy. One in particular was giving more grief than the others. Mum roared at her to keep quiet, and suggested that say a nice quiet prayer instead - whereupon the kid started up with "Oh Mary - had a little lamb...."
Needless to say the rest of the kids were uncontrollable after that!
Overheard by Anonymous, From my neighbour in Clondalkin.
Posted on Friday, 05th October 2007
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Rating score (121) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
Barking mad
A friend in work was telling a story it went like this
About ten years ago a he bought a house and they had just moved in, one night they where in bed and they heard noises from down stair's. His partner sents him to investigate, up he jumps from bed and slowly proceeded downstairs naked!!! About halfway down he began to bark loudly (to pretend he had a guard dog) with that the partner began to piss her self laughing in bed at his barking, the kid woke up and ran into to the mother crying there's a dog in the house, theres is dog in the house. Picture it the kid crying and the mother laughing so they went out onto the landing only to find him halfway down the stairs naked and still barking.
It turned out it was only the esb box cover banging off the door
Overheard by nev, work
Posted on Monday, 25th September 2006
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Rating score (249) | Comments (8) | Email to a friend |
Ballyfermot on tour!
Was in Maspalomas, Gran Canaria last week. Down by the pool were two couples, both with 4 year old kids. The wee boy [his parents were English] asked the wee girl [her parents were from Ballyfermot] what games she splayed at home. She replied "we play kick the car and run away!!!" It was hilarious. The father, slightly embarrassed commented: "You can take her out of Ballyfermot but......!"
Overheard by Anonymous, Vista Flor, Maspalomas, Gran Canaria.
Posted on Wednesday, 30th May 2007
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Rating score (202) | Comments (7) | Email to a friend |
Way to state the ovious!
I was in a queue at my local Supervalu and there were two old men in front of me.
Old man no.1: "D'ya hear the Euro Millions is on t'night?"
Old man no.2: "Ah yeah, I heard ya can win millions in dat."
Overheard by Katie, Supervalu, Donabate
Posted on Tuesday, 31st July 2007
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Rating score (101) | Comments (7) | Email to a friend |
Water you can Wayorrr....
Standing in the queue last Saturday morning in Spar behind two howaye's. We'll call one Whacker and the other Farreller.
Whacker: "Heeorr Farreller, leggit over there to the fridge and get us a bottle of Evian Water so i don't lose me place in the queue."
Farreller: "Alrii, no bother bud...."
Farreller comes back with a bottle of River Rock instead...
Farreller: "Heeeor Whacker bud, you can wear that stuff ya can!"
Whacker: "Aw man, classic man, classic!!"
Overheard by Nicola, Clonee
Posted on Thursday, 16th February 2006
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Rating score (91) | Comments (0) | Email to a friend |
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