True Dub wit - the oldies are the best!

Waiting with a friend in the queue for ATM Grafton Street March 08. Lady in 30s was spending a lot of time at machine. Dub man (late 70s/80s)behind her getting increasingly agitated blurts out "ya kno its' a bank machine not a bleedin television" !

Overheard by Tadhg, At AIB ATM, accross from River Island, Grafton Street.
Posted on Tuesday, 01st July 2008

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Time Warp

Heuston Station, Fastrack area.
Man with parcel says, "when's the next train to Kilkenny?"
Man behind counter says "you just missed it."

Overheard by Anto, Fastrack Heuston Station
Posted on Friday, 04th July 2008

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A little white lie!

A friend of mine got fed up being nagged by her kid to run out and buy icecream from those musical whippy vans, so she told him that "when you hear the music, it means their icecream is all gone!" So far it seems to be working ...

Overheard by Anonymous, Friend's house, Raheny.
Posted on Sunday, 29th June 2008

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Space Invader

In a Temple Bar pub recently I overheard the following:

Wannabe posh girl with an indistinguishable accent (dort, mid Atlantic)
says to a local who seemed to be pestering her, "you're invading my space" to which he replied, "why don't you close your mouth, you might free up some"

Overheard by Leviathan, Temple Bar
Posted on Thursday, 03rd July 2008

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Is it a Quiz!!!

Was in the Chipper during Italia 90 years ago, overheard an order being put in by 2 lads mid 20's.....

it went like this...

Girl behind counter: "Can I take your order"
Lad 1: "Yeah can I get jockeys whips (chips) & batter Sausage"
Lad 2: "Can I get chips and a batter burger"
Lad 2 AGAIN: "Sorry Missus wats on a batter burger?"
Girl behind counter: (this is brilliant) "BATTER!"

Needless to say the chipper eruppted with laughter!!

Overheard by Wogga Wogga, Congress Chipper Italia \'90\' North Strand
Posted on Wednesday, 02nd July 2008

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Doggy Fare

While on a bus recently i noticed this young lad standing at the bus stop with his dog as the bus was pulling in...He stepped on obviously presuming the dog would go home, put his money in and continued to proceed upstairs. All of a sudden the bus driver screams " oi get off my bus!" the young lad, presuming it was him comes back down looking confused. He sees the dog sitting at the bottom of the stairs wagging his tail and starts roaring laughing. The bus driver who was obviously not amused asks him whats so funny and quick as you like he turns around and goes" Wha? did he not pay his fare?!" kicks the dog off the bus and runs back upstairs with a smile on his face. Gave everyone a good laugh.

Overheard by Christian, Dublin bus
Posted on Wednesday, 02nd July 2008

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Where else would they be???

Whilst showing some English friends around our fair city, my friend commented that it was a lovely evening and "that all the homeless seemed to be out!!"

Overheard by Fionn, Temple Bar
Posted on Thursday, 03rd July 2008

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Great grasp of English

At a supermarket checkout in Ballymun, a foreign lady asked for some plastic bags to carry her groceries. The girl said she'd have to pay. The customer said that it was disgraceful. The checkout operator said, "nothing to do with me, there's none more gettin gave out free"

Overheard by Graham, Ballymun
Posted on Thursday, 03rd July 2008

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Bringing efficiency to a new level

Girl in a rush: " Right, pussy washed and out the door so. I'll be there for 7".

Overheard by anastacia, George's Street
Posted on Wednesday, 02nd July 2008

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Maybe college isnt for everyone?

I was on the train coming back from maynooth and i hear these two girls from maynooth college (could tell by their hoodies), one of them pulls a penguin bar out of her bag and reads the joke
Girl 1: "What bird is always out of breath? Eh a panther! Wait is a panther even a type of bird?"
Girl 2: (laughing very loudly) "NO YOU IDIOT!Its like one of them fairytale animals like a unicorn!"
Girl 1: "Well whats they answer? (she checks the bar) A Puffin? Whats a Puffin?"
Girl 2: "Its one of them birds that live in Antartica isnt it?"
I was in stitches by this stage and thought it was even funnier because they were looking at a penguin bar in the first place!

Overheard by Peter, Train from maynooth
Posted on Wednesday, 02nd July 2008

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