How stupid could one be!
Sitting of a bus behind two girls who were talking. One is a South African who is on an excahnge programme and is staying in Dublin for a couple of weeks. The south African was talking about going home at Christmas, and was saying how she couldn't wait to hit the beach, explaining that in South Africa it's summertime. The other girl looks all confused and says: "Wait, is Christmas at same time in South Africa? "The South African says: "Well yeah, it's on the 25th of December all over the world. "To which the other girls says: "Wow, I thought it was, like, June in Africa at the moment..."
Overheard by coxy, On the bus
Posted on Thursday, 04th December 2008
Walked straight into that one
on the 51 nitelink on a saturday night. a smartarse lad was doing his best to chat up these two howiyas....
lad..."i'd show you the night of your life"
one of the girls..."you would in your hole"
lad.."no....i would in YOUR hole"
Overheard by anonymous, 51N
Posted on Thursday, 04th December 2008
Charity and the 78A Bus!!
Travelling through Inchicore there was a bit of a fracas at the front of the bus which held us up. A woman who had boarded with a brood of her grandchildren and was berating the driver very loudly. When she eventually sat down she explained to an acquaintance who was only in his 20's that the African driver had not let her off with the fare which she felt an entitlement to (back in the day of Conductors there were always routes where the "go-ahead" or free fare was the norm) He replied to her "Jaysus, if we knew when we were collecting money for the Black Babies I'd a never a given any if I'd a known they'd be over her making us pay our busfares when they grew up"
The mind boggles!!!
Overheard by Maria, 78A Bus, Inchicore
Posted on Wednesday, 03rd December 2008
Ask a stupid question.........
I was on the dart on my way into town when a young group of lads sat opposite me. One of them looked out the window, noticed the HSS out at sea and decided to ask a rather odd question...
Lad 1: "Do you think you'd get arrested for sailing underneath the HSS?"
Lad 2 shook his head: "No."
Lad 1: "Why not?"
Lad 2 sighed at his friends stupidity: "Because they cant arrest a corpse..."
Overheard by Fry, On the Dart
Posted on Tuesday, 25th November 2008
Back O' da bus
I was on my way home on the 32A after work, stuck in traffic during rush hour, sitting up top. Two school kids were sitting at the very back looking out the window and noticed that a person we had passed a while back had now caught up with the bus.
Kid 1: 'Feckin' hell that guys caught up with us already, he must be a fast walker!'
To which Kid 2 reliped: 'you never know, he could just be a slow runner'
Overheard by Fry, on the 32A
Posted on Sunday, 16th November 2008
Ladies please...............
A young lad on a bus was tapped on the shoulder by an elderly lady pointing to a pregnant woman standing by his seat and said ' If you were half a man you'd give that Lady your seat' He said 'Missus, if I was half a man i'd be in a bleedin circus!'
Overheard by Barry, 46a Bus heading out of Town
Posted on Thursday, 13th November 2008
It's in the bag
Standing at the bus stop and dub guy in front of me, baseball cap, the works and carrying a hold all.
Guy passing by sees him , says howya Jim Hows it goin? Jim says OK, and mate asks him whats he got in the holdall
Jim: "Drills"
Mate: "How Many?"
Jim: "Guess"
Mate: "If I guess right will you give us one?"
Jim: "If you guess right I'll give you both"
Mate: "Ok ....eh Three?"
Overheard by jmac, 78a bus stop on way to town
Posted on Thursday, 13th November 2008
Bus driver not impressed
I was on the bus home and the bus driver was pulling into the Liffey Valley stop. A car cut in in front of him to let somebody off to catch the bus. The bus driver was fairly pissed off with this and when the lad from the car got on the bus he gave him a piece of his mind:
Driver: "You nearly caused a f**king accident back there ya gobshite"
Lad: "Ah no , my mate was there long before ya"
Driver: "Bullshit, he cut in in front of me..."
Lad: "No no no, my mate let me off and you just came up his arse!"
The passengers were in stitches!
Overheard by Young Barnes, on the bus home
Posted on Wednesday, 12th November 2008
Doesn't know her foot from her back
Not strictly in Dublin, but on the plane back from Rome. The woman sitting next to me spent the whole flight complaining. The best however was when she informed me that her back was killing her and that she was going to have to go and see "the chiropodist" about it.
Overheard by Anonymous, Flight from Rome to Dublin
Posted on Wednesday, 12th November 2008
Dubracadabra!
Paul Daniels was on an Aer Lingus flight once upon a time, and during boarding in Dublin, asked one of the cabin crew to put his hand luggage in the overhead bin, to which Sharon replied "you're the magician, you magic it up there!"
Overheard by Murty Sanchez, EI 168, stand 33, Dublin Airport.
Posted on Saturday, 08th November 2008
Doing it 'coz yeh CAN
Was on the bus the other day when dis drunk guy hops on. He sits at the back and takes out a few cans o' booze. When he's done he throws the cans out the window.
One of the fellas at the back goes
'Ye shouldn't be doin da'
Drunk Guy: 'Wha?'
Other Guy: 'Throwin de cans out the window'
Drunk Guy: 'Why not?'
Other Guy: 'One of dem cans hit me sister's car a while ago'
Drunk Guy pauses and then goes
'.....It wasn't me'
Overheard by Xplosiv, back of the 19A going in to town
Posted on Friday, 07th November 2008
Livin on different planets?????????
Was sitting on the top deck of the 46a and 2 young lads in front of me, one of them reading the paper.
Turns around to his friend and says " Jaysus look at this.Mother of 9 to be sentenced tomorrow for shoplifting"
His mate turned to him and said " Bleedin hell...thats very young to be a mother!!"
Overheard by saoirse66, On 46a on way to town
Posted on Wednesday, 05th November 2008
Fare dodgers
On the Luas a while ago when the tram broke down. The driver came on the speakers sayin "Sorry folks, we'll just be delayed for a few minutes etc" Two young dub lads, bout 10 startin complaining extremely loudly, sayin "jaysus this is ridiculous, I have to be in school, crappy luas etc"...then after a few mins of their moanin one of them shouts "Glad i didn't buy a bleedin ticket"
Overheard by Caoimhe, On the Luas
Posted on Sunday, 02nd November 2008
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30 - 31 - 32 - 33 - 34 - 35 - 36 - 37 - 38 - 39 - 40 - 41 - 42 - 43 - 44 - 45 - 46 - 47 - 48 - 49 - 50 - 51 - 52 - 53 - 54 - 55 - 56 - 57 - 58 - 59 - 60 - 61 - 62 - 63 - 64 - 65 - 66 - 67 - 68 - 69 - 70 - 71 - 72 - 73 - 74 - 75 - 76 - 77 - 78 - 79 - 80 - 81 - 82 - 83 - 84 - 85 - 86 - 87 - Next >>
